#here he’s wondering for the first time what is after death

[smurphette98]

So, I did this not with a villain, but with an NPC from a D&D campaign I’m running on a day where the group didn’t meet. It’s under the cut if you wanna give it a read!

(CW: discussion of death, resurrection, the afterlife, and murder)

Subreddit: r/relationshipadvice

Title: I haven’t seen my husband in 5 years (because I was dead) and I just found out that he left our daughter with his mother for that whole time.

Posted by u/Lovemordian

Apologies in advance if my Common isn’t great; it isn’t my first language.

I (21F) was recently resurrected by a party member of my husband’s (now 26M) after dying in his arms five years ago. Admittedly, the experience was wonderful, since I had always hoped that magic was real and not just the stuff of children’s stories, and I am not upset at living once more. The afterlife is…well, it’s beyond what I need to discuss here.

The issue I am having is this: while I was dead, I was comforted in the knowledge that our daughter (now 8F) was not going to grow up completely parentless even if I could not be with her. However, when I saw her again after returning to life, she mentioned that her grandmother, my husband’s mother, had been caring for her this whole time. She did not grow up with her father, and the one thought that had kept me sane while wandering the fields of the waiting became a lie.

He says that he left her behind with his parents to ensure that no one would use her to pressure him, that the Flesh Collectors wouldn’t use her as bait to get to him. Though I understand the logic of this, I can’t help but feel a bit disappointed. It feels like he’s trying to be the man he was 5 years ago, but I know he’s gone through much in my absence and I wish he would just be honest with me about it. Does anyone have any advice for how to talk to him about this? In some ways, it does feel a bit as if I’m approaching him as a stranger once more.

Update: Thank you to all who replied with your advices and your recommendations. I do want to answer a few of the questions I saw most frequently:

1) Apparently, he tried to avenge my murder after the judge had been paid off, stealing a highly advanced prototypical weapon designed by a classmate of ours (27 NB) to do it. This is why the Flesh Collectors were after him and why he apparently joined a guild for thieves and assassins that, if I understood him right, was run by a staff member at the university? I don’t know; he seems more comfortable speaking Common than Lamordian, so I may be misunderstanding things.

2) Flesh Collectors are sort of like a police force, but more than anything they are scavengers who harvest body parts that scientists need for their work. The “ethical” ones wait until a body is dead to harvest. The majority of them are not ethical.

Now, onto the update: I had the open conversation with my husband that so many of you recommended. I just asked him to tell me what kinds of things had happened while I was dead, and he was honest with me, just as I always remember him being.

While he was on the run for his vengeance, he fell in with the guild I mentioned and did “less than honorable things” to put aside money for our daughter’s future. At first, I thought he was implying that he had sold intimate favors, but he clarified that it was killing people. He did put aside quite a bit, over 10,000 gp, so I do think it was well-meant. And our daughter seems to hold no resentment toward him, so I don’t suppose I should either. For anyone out there who has been resurrected after a while, is this distance I’m feeling just a symptom of that, or is it something I should be concerned about? Perhaps I should speak to my mother-in-law, as she has always been a source of wisdom in my life. I don’t think I will need to update further, but if more developments happen, I will be sure to let you all know.

if you're trying to get into the head of your story's antagonist, try writing an "Am I the Asshole" reddit post from their perspective, explaining their problems and their plans for solving them. Let the voice and logic come through.

[kyunniebuns]

˗ˏˋ Entry : 054 - Lovesick! Sung Jinwoo x Fem! Reader: Isekaing to the world of your favourite protagonist, but nothing is ever a coincidence. ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚ 𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕘 𝕁𝕚𝕟𝕨𝕠𝕠 ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

‼️[tw: Manipulation, Murder, Death, Yandere depictions, Implied assault but not executed, a darker Jinwoo overall. Also Kyunnie lowkey rambling ....]‼️

╰┈➤ ❝ [ He Would Find You No Matter How Long It Takes, And Once He Has You In His Arms— You're Never Leaving] ¡! ❞

You died from an accident in the streets, well, not really an accident. Some drunk bastard was stumbling across the desolate street you normally take to go home— But poor you as that faithful meeting lead to your murder.

The paramedics tried everything they could to save you, but alas, you were dead on arrival.

That's what you suspect atleast. After losing so much blood from the multiple stab wounds of course that would be your death.

Dying was such a cold, cold feeling. It felt terrible. But what were your last thoughts?

You only thought of a single person only: Sung Jinwoo, the protagonist that you were madly in love with.

That man died three times or more if you count regression as a form of death. You thought of what he must have felt in his first death was similar to yours. How his feeble body sprawled on the altar with his leg cut off and his arm mostly torn off— It must have been terrible for Jinwoo.

Back then, you can only speculate. But now? Now you knew what he felt as he dies.

The only regret you have was not finishing the manhwa for the fifth time of the week.

But then you suddenly shot up, and when you did, you were met with a kind smile from a nurse, telling you that you passed out while doing a raid in an E-ranked gate from overexhaustion.

E-rank? Gate? What?

You were livid, feeling absolutely dizzy as you tried to ask the nurse. So you feigned temporary memory loss and asked the nurse what happened and why you're here.

As she had said, you passed out from raiding an E-ranked gate because of fatigue. You yourself, are a hunter, an E-ranked one.

The laughable rank your beloved once had.

You tried to wrap your head around it, tried to make sense of it all that you must be in purgatory, that this was all an illusion after death and the gods just had mercy on you and granted you your truest wish.

You tried to sleep it off, tried to bang your head to get you out of this illusion. But everything was real. You did normal human activities, and every pinch of a needle pricked onto your skin hurt like the way it did when you were alive.

You are alive

You didn't know whether to cry or laugh, you were in a world similar to Jinwoo's.

Jinwoo?

"Hello, are you alright?" A kind voice asks you out of nowhere, pulling you out of your daze. "Ah, I thought you passed out while awake!"

A boyish almost childlike face, pretty and cute with unkept fluffy hair that has grown too much and has a weird sort of mushroom-like appearance. Wide, innocent, puppy-like grey eyes full of wonder and life.

You knew that color of grey, that lovely shade that has placed you in a complete rampage of obsession and love.

"I'm Jinwoo, nice to meet you" He stretches his hand out to you, offering a friendly shake.

You accept his hand, trembling as you do so but he doesn't seem to notice as he shakes your hand so kindly while you shakily state your name to him.

Calloused, his hands were calloused.

He then sits down on the empty spot beside you, chatting you up.

Your heart was pounding like crazy as you two talked, you were for sure about to pass out anytime from the overflowing euphoria filling you up.

You don't know how you survived the conversation. But somehow you did.

And Jinwoo himself even offered that you two should team up as E-ranked hunters.

Ecstatic, of course you were, you were so joyous you jumped in bed and rolled around like a madman.

Jinwoo was here. Your Jinwoo.

Your Jinwoo before his ascension as a monarch, your Jinwoo that is still childish and soft.

You loved teaming up with him.

But something was weird.

Already, he had exceptional knife skills, his expertise with using a dagger was too good. Too uncharacteristic of the Jinwoo you know in his earliest days. Is his puberty coming a bit too early?...

That's just it,

,... Right?

Surely it is.

It's not weird that Jinwoo is extremely flexible and fast, that he is sharp and seemingly has such an advanced spatial awareness, that he easily cuts through the hard skins of various monsters.

...Really.

It's not weird at all.

꒰ .... ꒱

It's another hunting day where you accompany Jinwoo yet again in a raid. But this time he seemed a bit more guarded against the raid team you both had signed in for just to experience a higher ranked gate.

"Stay close to me, yeah?" Jinwoo leans down, smiling gently at you that made you forget the chilling expression he had just a second ago.

"S-sure?" You smile awkwardly, growing bashful at his distance.

Why is he a bit antsy anyway? The team you both signed up for isn't the Hwang.... Hwang dong.... Who?

The team of Hwang Dongsoo's brother? That bald headed bastard's family? Ah... You can't really recall his name.

Dead men don't matter anyway.

The only thing you really remember was how hot he was when he ultimately lost his mind momentarily and became absolutely ruthless.

To this you mourn the lack of psychotic Jinwoo in the manhwa.

Do they not see the potential?

This man has the temper and charisma to pull off a serial killer vibe.

So why not?

Why the hell not?!

"!!!"

Your thoughts are suddenly interrupted when Jinwoo suddenly placed him in between you and the approaching hunter who had a displeased look on his face after what he did.

"I'm only trying to check on the little miss" The hunter smiles wryly, but Jinwoo was unmoving.

"Really now?" He remarks, his tone sneering even. "Does that involve you luring us into this isolated part of the dungeon with your team surrounding the exits? Sure."

"Ah you're no fun buddy!~" The hunter laughs, patting his shoulder to try and get Jinwoo to relax. "It's just us here, why not have a little fun? She's a pretty one."

Oh right.

Being a hunter is dangerous.

But what had always been dangerous in the first place?

Being a woman.

Ever since society recovered from the shock of the gates arriving— There is a significant uptake in death counts, crime rates, and missing people mia after entering a gate.

And what is the gender of 70% of those missing people?

Women.

If one wanted to do a crime, the best way to do it is in a gate. Rumours spread that disgusting fiends would lure women with a promise of a hefty sum by a small hunting group.

After that? All the women seemingly disappear.

And with the lack of a body and evidence to imply malpractice in the dungeons— What can the law do?

Nothing.

Dead corpses dont talk.

And as the hand reached out over Jinwoo's shoulder towards you—

It suddenly flew off with a swish

The severed limb took it's sweet time floating on the air before plopping on the floor with a wet splotch.

"...."

Everyones gazes were locked on the motionless hand on the floor before a bloody scream rang out from the C-ranked hunter.

"Y-you!" He sobs, gripping his empty wrist as it sheds a copious amount of blood. "I was nice to you by hiring you useless E-rankers and this is how you repay me?!"

He then turns to the rest of the members who were left frozen, "What the fuck are you bastards doing standing there? GET HIS FUCKING HEAD."

"It's always bastards like you who pull this kind of bullshit off" Jinwoo sighs, as if the whole situation right now is troublesome for him as a dagger materializes into his hand.

It was gleaming a mad crimson, as if the blade itself was made of a bloody moon's fragments.

Kamish's Wrath.

Daggers gifted to him by Thomas Andre as an apology for the trouble Hwang Dongsoo and the overall situation they were on. A symbol of peace between them and a sign of friendship between them.

He isn't supposed to be having those until later.

Unless The Jinwoo in front of you isn't the E-ranked Jinwoo who is slteadily climbing the levels at a rapid fast.

Jinwoo's blade seems like it's merely flying with how fast he is moving. Everytime he moves he just tilts his body a little for them to miss him narrowly.

And while everyone else is screaming in frustration, Jinwoo just throws them a sly smile, as if he is reveling in messing with them.

It was obvious he was teasing them, making them overly frustrated where they want to hit him but can't quite reach him at the way he expertly dodges them narrowly.

And when he's already bored of them?

He slices their limbs one by one and letting them bleed to death on the floor.

By the end of it Jinwoo is standing atop a pool of blood with crimson splatters sliding enticingly down his handsome features.

Whoever said Jinwoo isn't charming even in his baby-faced era must be blind.

Because even in the lack of his significant height, even when his cheeks are a bit chubbier, even if his eyes are a bit rounder and that his build is nothing more than bone and flesh— He has this haunting beauty to him that makes him look like a mischievous fae about to drag you into the abyss he calls his home.

"Do you understand now?" Jinwoo asks, his blank and empty grey eyes looking down on you as he lefts you cheek with his calloused hand. "Why I told you to quit being a hunter before?"

"I-I..." You sputter, unable to find the words from the shock of seeing your beloved murder people live in front of you.

"I'll get a rank evaluation after a month as soon as I fix this blasted body" He said, pressing his forehead against yours. "You're scared, aren't you? If I wasn't here, what could've happen to you?"

"....."

He's right.

What would've happen if Jinwoo isn't here? What would've happen if Jinwoo lets that man's hand go over to you?

The vision of it makes you falter, tears prickling your face as it slowly sunk in— That the only thing awaited you was unspeakable horrors had he not step in.

"Sssh..." He comforts you sweetly, pulling you into his arms and kissing the top of your head. "You must have been scared, hm? I know, I know. I took care of it, didn't I? Don't be scared anymore."

You don't have to know the fact that he orchestrated all of this.

That Jinwoo himself is the reason why you died and was brought to this cursed world.

That he was well aware of what the hunters have been pulling off whenever they sign contracts with women.

He just wanted to scare you a little, really.

What better method can he do to make you reliant on him?

To make you extremely dependent on him and paranoid of him not being there?

The world of hunters is a cruel and unforgiving world.

He knows that himself.

Jinwoo isn't blind to any of the darker side of this path you both choose to thread on.

Except that right now his intention is to make you too scared of ever stepping into a gate.

That the thought of ever stepping into one makes you shiver into cold sweats and becoming sick at the mere thought of it.

And if this plan doesn't shake you enough?

Then he'll just do it again.

Shake you to the core, make you have a glimpse of hell and then swoop in the second he sees you frightened enough.

You'll be in his arms, weeping and completely afraid.

And he would drill it himself in your head:

You only need Jinwoo.

Just like right now, where you're too shaken to even process the fact the timeline is all wrong. That somehow the Jinwoo in front of you right now already has two hearts with the beat of two organs in his chest. One heart belongs to him, the other belongs to the late Ashborn who chose him as his heir.

Nothing is making sense right now, but you're stuck sobbing in his arms and seeking for solace and safety.

"We'll have to pretend to be hurt when we go out, hm?" Jinwoo lifts your face up with the palms of his warm hands, his expression hauntingly saintly despite the muddled color of grey in his lovely eyes. "Can you do that for me?"

You nod, sniffling, earning yourself a kiss on the forehead as a reward for your obedience.

"Good girl."

꒰ 🪼 A/N: What better way to start off my 2025 with a Lovesick Sung Jinwoo fic? Hahah, my beloved<3. No matter who I put into my extensive list of sweethearts Jinwoo will always be on top of everybody else! I love him it's unhealthy. I might make a lads post after this or a wholesome sylus fic that has been brewing in my mind for a bit? I wanna branch out more when it comes to my fics wwww!!! So aside from Hsr there will be the lads boys. ꒱

ʚ(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭ .｡✧: ~ —! stories written by kyunnie; translations, reposts, plagiarism are strictly forbidden.

[myownwholewildworld]

Love is heartbreak

↪ a the age of adaline inspired fic

pairing: marcus acacius x ageless!f!reader. summary: kissed by the goddess juno on your day of reckoning, you are brought back to life, condemned to wander the earth for a century. until you meet the other half of your soul who offers you the life you yearn for. but will you be strong enough to accept such promise? author's note: yes, i've cheated on my other wips, I'M SORRY. but when the angst and romance call, i can only answer - i am only human afterall. hope you like this little story that was supposed to be a drabble but ended up being this long, oops! comments and reblogs appreciated. enjoy! x warnings: 18+, mdni. soulmates trope. angst, romance, smut. mild breeding kink (soz). infidelity. mention of SA (not by Marcus) and death. dual pov. reader is female and a blank slate. reader is close to 150 years old (stopped ageing in her twenties) and Marcus is in his fifties. not beta'd and very lightly proofread, apologies if you spot any mistakes lol wordcount: ~8.4k. divider by @\saradika-graphics

“I’ll do anything to stay by your side, amica mea (my beloved). I don’t care about what the future holds if it’s not with you,” Marcus’ broad hands held yours, his thumb drawing invisible circles on the back of your hands.

You hated this — how your heart twisted inside you, torn apart by the choice you had to make. Was this never-ending life not enough punishment? No, you also had to go through heartbreak — your own and Marcus’. For love, you had to.

With eyes averted, you looked down at your worn sandals. Tears teetering on the edge of your waterlines as your vision became blurry with sadness, regrets and fears washed over you like the Tiber kissing the shore goodbye.

In your hundred years wandering the ground beneath your feet, you never had to go through this. Always so careful not to feel, not to grow close to anyone, not to really live the life you wanted, and now you were in a position where it almost felt too real.

Within reach — you only had to extend your hands and hug him in a tight, soothing embrace. Only needed to accept the life that Marcus was offering. Though as much as you wanted to—you wanted it, him, so badly—you could never.

And what was worst, you couldn’t explain why. First you would see the horror in his eyes, that frightened look glittering, then incomprehension, and finally disgust. Your heart couldn’t take it.

“But I do care, Marcus. Yours is bright, your military career is about to take off. I would only hinder you, your dreams. I am no one, and—” you tried to reason with him.

But love was blind. Love was deaf. Love didn’t care about impossibilities, because love was defiant.

At least his was.

“Do you think I care about being disowned? Do you truly believe that I would choose such dreadful life over you? Over a wonderful life with the person I love most?” Marcus squeezed your hands before one of his found your chin, tilting up your face to him. “Omnia vincit amor, et nos cedamus amori (love conquers all, let us too yield to love).”

You shook your head in denial, his words ringing in your ears like chants of war. Because Marcus waged war in all aspects of life, even in love — he’d conquered your heart so fully, you’d never asked him to return it. It would forever be his to cherish, to cry over, to destroy, to hate.

Because he would need to hate you to overcome the heartbreak you were about to cause.

“You don’t have a choice here. You are to marry the lady your family has arranged for; her family’s prestige will do you good. You’re just infatuated, Marcus, it isn’t true love,” you forced yourself to let a soft laugh out, wiping your tears as you took a step back. “At least, for me, it isn’t.”

Marcus’ expression folded and your heart with him. You hated yourself for saying such a vile lie, but a necessary one. The passage of time would not affect you, always stagnant in your early twenties after a fateful day when Juno decided to save your life from certain death. The Goddess of love and marriage was also one known for Her eternal youthfulness — one She would only share with those who had been wronged. And you had been so wronged in your mortal life.

And here you were, so close to committing the same mistake all over again. But you knew better this time — not because you didn’t trust Marcus, but because Fate was capricious. It didn’t matter if Juno was watching over you.

“You don’t mean that. I know you don’t. This is true love, lux mihi (my light), one that would live through eternity,” Marcus muttered breathlessly, reaching for you again, looking for that unbreakable connection you both strongly shared.

“Eternity? Don’t speak of things you don’t understand, Marcus,” you retorted, forcing your tone to sound mocking.

Another step back with an unmovable expression and you saw realisation dawning on him. Slowly like a river widening its meanders, steady like the constant flow of water. Relentless you were, steadfast in your resolution.

“Ave atque vale (hail and farewell), Acacius,” were your last words to him.

35 years later...

“Father, may I marry her?”

Marcus gazed down the dining table, eyeing his son with consideration. He knew what it felt like, how true love messed up your head to the point of madness. He had felt that way only once in his life, and it wasn’t for the woman sitting beside him.

As cruel as it sounded, Marcus never loved his wife, because his heart belonged to someone else — the now hazy memory of a woman who always lingered on the edges of his mind. A cruel reminder of how feeble and fleeting love was, how love turned into heartbreak with just a few words.

“At least, for me, it isn’t.”

That sentence alone had broken him, his ability to feel some sort of romantic connection died that very same day. At night it would haunt him, filling his dreams with nightmares. The same scene playing over and over in his mind, his heart cracking even more every time those words would hit him.

He’d waited for weeks, months. A year it took him to realise you truly were not coming back, that you meant it. He’d only been a plaything for you, a toy you discarded once things got too real. And at that point he surrendered to the pressure his family put on him. Marcus had followed through with the arranged marriage in the end, despite the agony and the empty hole in his chest.

And now his son was following in his footsteps. His heir looked so much like him, like a reflection of the past staring back at him. It pained him — he saw himself in Magnus, almost as if the roles had reversed and he was his own father thirty-five years ago. Pleading, asking to marry the love of his life even though his hand had already been promised in holy matrimony to another.

His wife, Prisca, waved one of her hands with disdain, the spoon clattering on the porcelain plate.

“Nonsense, Magnus,” she tutted at their son. “We’ve already been through this. You will marry Verina. You’d put us in a very compromised position with Gellius if you don’t.”

“But—”

“Quit your whining and man up, my son. Gellius is the Emperor’s best counsellor. It will bring our family great reputation,” Prisca reasoned, tone poisoned with greed. “And riches.”

“Father?” Magnus’ eyes shot to his, pleading him to intervene.

Marcus sensed Prisca stiffening besides him, gripping the arms of the chair like a vice. He didn’t look in her direction but knew how her orbs distilled venom. She would never understand what their son was talking about, but he did. Too damn right.

“I would like to meet her before giving you my blessing,” he spoke calmly, lacing his hands together on top of the wooden table.

Magnus’ eyes sparked up, a hopeful smile curling his mouth.

“Of course, of course! She’s waiting right outside,” and then his son hurried out of the room.

Prisca stood up, the screeching noise of the chair’s legs irritating Marcus.

“Like father, like son,” she muttered maliciously before disappearing too.

In this moment of silent respite, Marcus pinched the bridge of his hooked nose. The patience he had to muster was titanic. His life had been nothing but heartache and war, his son being the only reason he stood by his wife’s side in public. He’d tired of the pantomime, but there wasn’t much he could do about it.

He would meet the woman who had stolen Magnus’ heart, just to make sure there was no deception from her part. Marcus wouldn’t wish for his son to go through the same heartbreak as him. If everything was at it should, then he wouldn’t oppose.

“Father,” Magnus called, and Marcus removed the hand from his exhausted, battle-scarred face.

His heart literally stopped.

A warm smile softened your expression when Magnus asked you to join his family in the dining hall. You had been sitting patiently in a small waiting room, wondering if this was right.

The first time you had laid eyes on Magnus a week ago, your heart jolted, and your mind went blank. He reminded you so much of your one and only true love, the one you ditched thirty-five years ago because you were too afraid to embrace the beautiful life he had offered you. The one you still felt in your heart, dormant yet very present in your everyday life.

Perhaps it was wrong of you to encourage this situation, whatever this was. When Magnus had asked you that morning to join his family for supper, he had caught you off guard, so you found yourself agreeing to it.

Deep down you knew why you hadn’t disappeared yet: you wanted to live this moment one more time. Wanted to remember how it felt to be loved so fiercely by Marcus, a yearning you’d been craving for over three decades. Only this man wasn’t Marcus, only someone who was his spitting image.

One dinner, a few hours more of playing pretend, and then you’d vanish again. Leave Rome behind after such brief visit before someone recognised you. You couldn’t afford to give any explanations, so you’d only visit this place once every decade.

You walked behind Magnus, head slightly bowed and hands laced in front of you. Magnus’ broad body blocked your vision, but soon enough he stepped aside to introduce you.

You curtsied, eyes averted, fixed on the marble slabs.

Before you straightened your back and introduced yourself, the man across the room spoke your name — your real birthname.

Inevitably, your heart sank to your belly with panic and your eyes quickly drifted up to meet the darkened ones you once had allowed yourself to swim in.

Marcus. Your Marcus.

Your heart raced in your chest and filled with pure joy. You couldn’t stop the smile that had started curling your lips nor the glassiness of your eyes.

Your one and true love was staring back at you with widened, tired eyes. He had gotten up off his chair and was striding towards you before he suddenly halted a couple of meters away from you with confusion painting his handsome features. Ones that had not remained impassible to the passage of time and war, but ones that you daydreamed about every single day without fail.

So within reach — you would only need to close the distance between you two and hug him, hug him till dawn and never let go. Oh, how much you missed him, how much you still loved him. With your whole heart, the one that ached and wept with regret in your chest right now.

Would he love you back? Did you break the love you shared past the point of mending?

“What? Her name is Aurora, father,” Magnus chuckled nervously, his eyes dancing between the two of you, puzzled. “This is the woman who has stolen my heart. I would like to marry the love of my life with your blessing.”

Your eyes flew from Marcus to Magnus at the revelation, bewildered. Marriage? Was this what it was all about, the purpose of his invitation to meet his family? Marcus’ son wanted to marry you?

You had not seen that coming, as it wasn’t your intention at all. You had only wanted to live this fleeting fantasy of yours for a few days, but there wasn’t love. Not like the one you felt for Marcus, that could never compare.

“Your name is Aurora?” Marcus’ question forced you to look in his direction, your heart twisting maddingly inside you. You nodded with hesitation, “I thought you were…” Marcus pronounced your real name again, the sinking pit of your stomach churning.

“That was my mother,” you quickly came up with a lie. You could never tell him the truth.

“Your mother,” he repeated slowly, shock and pain transforming his beautiful face. “I knew your mother.”

“What? Really?” Magnus intervened with a laugh, palming his father’s shoulder. “That’s such a coincidence!”

You looked at both of them, but your eyes inevitably lingered on Marcus’ darkened ones. Would he believe your lie? Again?

“The resemblance with her is… uncanny. You look so much like her, Aurora,” Marcus rasped, taking a step back and steeling his posture with determination.

He didn’t need to speak for you knew his hurt. Because the same memories that were flooding his mind, had been drowning you for decades.

The atmosphere felt heavy with unspoken truths, your face burning — you loathed yourself for the pain you had caused him. Pain that still contorted his expression every time his eyes flicked to yours.

Would he ever forgive you? Would he know that you lied so many years ago? That you truly and irremediably loved him? That you would always do?

You bowed down your head, mainly to conceal the unspent tears brimming on your waterlines.

“So I have been told, General,” you muttered softly as Magnus’ hand rested easily on the small of your back, his lips brushing your temple gently.

“I know this may seem sudden, father, but I know that Aurora is the one,” Magnus confessed shyly, pulling your body towards him in a warm half-embrace.

Never in your life had you wished yourself to disappear so badly. Marcus’ sight burnt through you and you couldn’t help but reciprocate him. The sadness—no, the heartbreak—in them was like a dagger through your heart, and you wondered if the decision you made so many years ago had been the right one.

By the looks of it, he had done well for himself, just as you had imagined he would. The villa was beautiful, sumptuous even. It spoke of his status in the Empire, how highly rewarded he had been for his enterprise. You assumed that Marcus had married eventually after you left, and you only hoped he’d married for love.

“I see,” Marcus murmured in reply to his son, walking back to his chair. “Let’s eat first. Prisca, my wife, won’t be joining us. She had to excuse herself because she wasn’t feeling well. Please forgive her absence.”

Prisca. So he hadn’t married for love, his family had won and forced him into an arranged marriage after all. Your heart cried for him, for the injustice you had showered upon him with your departure. Perhaps he ended up loving her so his life wouldn’t be as miserable.

That last thought stung, the dagger further twisting in your heart. You wanted his happiness, but selfishly you hoped Marcus still loved you. Undeserving of such love you were, that was clear to you, but you still hoped anyway.

“Of course, Dominus,” you hushed as Magnus guided you to an empty chair.

The food served was delicious, but the silence looming over the table tinged the atmosphere uncomfortable. Magnus did a remarkable effort to keep the conversation going, but Marcus’ succinct replies didn’t leave much room for chatter. And when Magnus pushed again about the marriage proposal—to you dismay—Marcus said that it could discussed tomorrow over breakfast.

Even though the man in front of you had aged, you still saw him as he was thirty-five years ago. He had a scar on his upper cheek and across the bridge of his aquiline nose, crows feet kissing the corners of his brown eyes, his thick curls were greying, and his demeanour was more stoic, but he was still your Marcus.

The only difference though was his lack of… life. His eyes didn’t sparkle anymore, they were tinted with darkness and sorrow. Had war changed him? Had you changed him?

Your throat collapsed on itself, tightening to the point of suffocation. Just in time, you reined in the tears as the last maid removed the plate in front of you.

“I should be going,” you announced, pushing back the chair to stand up.

Marcus sprung to his feet before his son did. And when he realised his promptness, he cleared his throat but didn’t speak.

“It’s late,” Magnus said, standing up to be by your side, throwing a confused glance to his father. “Could she stay the night, father, please?”

Marcus nodded.

“I will ask one of the servants to prepare one of the empty chambers,” Marcus conceded, walking around the table to meet his son.

“Oh,” Magnus sighed, and you knew he’d hoped to share a bed with you tonight.

Your face burnt once more with shame when Marcus’ eyes looked for yours. However, you didn’t meet his gaze, scared of what you would find in it.

“Thank you, General, you are most generous,” you husked in a low voice.

“I will show you around the villa in the meantime, amica mea,” Magnus said, his hand quick to rest on the back of your waist.

You subtly flinched at his endearment. That was what his father always called you. It felt wrong when he said it now, completely out of place — it didn’t at first, when you looked at him and imagined he was Marcus instead. But with the love of your life standing firm in front of you, it sounded so vile.

This fantasy of yours was a dangerous game, one you didn’t want to play. Not if it meant hurting Marcus again, because you could see the way he studied you. How his pupils dilated with anger every time his son would seek your touch. It was killing him, and you in the process. When everyone went to sleep, you would leave in the middle of the night, as the shadow you were condemned to be.

Magnus urged you to turn around and walk beside him, when you heard Marcus gasp.

“Your birthmark,” his words stopped you right in your tracks.

When Juno touched you to bring you back to life over a century ago, Her caress left a mark on the back of your left shoulder. The shape resembled that of a peacock, the loyal animal known to accompany the Goddess.

“What about it?” Magnus intervened, confused by the interruption.

Slowly you looked over your shoulder to glance at Marcus. His eyes were a window to his restless, half soul, desperate and blown — he knew. He searched your face for a crack, a way in, but your expression didn’t tumble.

You wished you could veer around and throw yourself in his arms, kiss him and apologise, ask him to take you back. But you just couldn’t. Love was heartbreak, and it would have to remain that way if you didn’t want to hurt Marcus even more than what you already had.

“Nothing,” he grumbled, jaw tight with a tic on the muscle.

Marcus stirred in bed, unable to get any sleep.

Your face haunted him brighter than ever — every time his eyes shut, your sorry expression would gnaw at the confines of his mind. Seeing you right in front of him after so many years, all curled up to his son’s side, drove him mad.

At first, he thought himself crazy. You looked exactly as you did thirty-five years ago — not even a wrinkle kissed your skin, not a greying hair anywhere to be seen in your plaited hair. So when you explained you were the daughter of the woman who broke his heart, he had believed you.

That was until he saw the birthmark on your shoulder. The unmistakable shape he had joked about in the past, telling you that you had been kissed by Juno Herself at birth. It was impossible that you had inherited such a peculiar mark.

But it was even more impossible that you had remained as youthful as you were, as if not a single day had passed. How was that even possible? Some people were gifted with slow ageing, he had seen some, but to remain exactly the same? No, there was something else lurking, an explanation he could not grasp because it was too surreal, too unfathomable for a mortal.

Marcus needed answers. His mind was a tangled mess, this new discovery shining a different light on the conversation that destroyed him over three decades ago. Did your words have a meaning he had not been able to see before?

“Eternity? Don’t speak of things you don’t understand, Marcus.”

What had you truly meant by that? Did you understand what eternity really was in a level he couldn’t even start to comprehend?

Heart pounding, he quietly removed the covers and sat on the bed. A quick glance over his shoulder confirmed that Prisca was sound asleep. Not that she would miss him anyway.

In darkness, Marcus palmed around until he found his toga and quickly changed to then walk out of his bedchamber with a clear destination in mind.

He trudged along the cold corridors of his villa until he found the door to the room you were sleeping in. For a second, he doubted, thinking he was crazy for the implausible reason taking form in his mind. But if it wasn’t that—that you were, somehow, ageless—he still needed to know why. Why hadn’t you aged? Why leave him? Why not tell him the truth?

As his shaky hand lifted and curled to knock on the wooden plank, the door swung open.

You appeared under the doorframe with a wild expression and widened eyes, obviously in a hurry to leave. Again.

“Marcus,” you gasped, one hand flying to your chest in surprise as your beautiful eyes met his.

He froze in place, all the words he had planned to say stuck to the back of his throat, forming a lump that would not let him speak. Your beauty was dazzling, but it was the buried love he harboured for you what stopped him from talking as it resurfaced.

His memory of you had not faded, able to remember every single feature of your face regardless the passage of time. Everything about you was engraved in his mind, but he had almost forgotten how sweet you smelt. Roses, with an earthy hint of grass.

As your scent numbed his mind, Marcus finally found his dry tongue.

“Don’t leave, please. Don’t leave again,” he begged in a hoarse whisper, his eyes diving in yours.

You looked up at him and he felt himself under a spell. The same one you had him under years ago, when the heart was shattered and the mind bleak. Because even when you waved him goodbye, he still loved you. Never stopped, was never able to hate you for what you did, what you said.

“Can we talk?” he pushed before realising your eyes were glassy with sadness. “I know your name is not Aurora. I know it’s you.”

Your bottom lip trembled as a single tear fell from the cliff of your lashes. Moved by his own ghost of the past, Marcus reached for your cheek with his palm, the thumb brushing away the tears that followed the first one.

You let go of a deep sigh, kissed the palm of his hand and nodded. His heart was beating so loud, so fast, he almost missed your words.

“I owe you an explanation, Marcus,” you finally spoke, a broken sob almost tearing his resolution.

As you stepped aside, Marcus came into the room you were so eager to leave behind. Your heartbeat had spiked the moment you saw him and hadn’t slowed down since then. Perhaps you didn’t die of heartbreak but could die of a heart attack.

For decades you had been running until you found him. Until Marcus made you believe you could have everything he promised. It had been the first time you had actually considered growing roots. But the thought of not being able to grow old, to see the love of your life wither away while you remained sane, was paralysing. You had panicked — too scared to accept the love of a man who would give up everything for you, too frightened to trust someone again.

But was Marcus not worthy of your trust? He demonstrated repeatedly how he would always protect you, always cherish you. Not only with words, but with actions too. He had been so considerate, so loving, for a moment in the past you thought it a ruse. How could someone be so damn perfect and still be real?

Your heart clenched in pain, seeing him latch the door behind him and turn around to face you. The look of confusion, of sorrow, ate at your conscience. Under the candlelight, his torn features stuck out, time unforgiving. He was still gorgeous, would always be in your eyes.

“I’m sorry,” was the first thing that slipped out before the quivering of your bottom lip let out a sob. “I’m so sorry, Marcus. I didn’t know Magnus was your son, otherwise I would have never—” you shook your head, taming your cries. “I should have known. He looks so much like you. When I first saw him, I thought it was you. That somehow you had been able to still time and be with me.”

You sobbed a pitiful laugh, unable to look him in the eye. It was shameful having to admit something like this — that you had chased after a boy because he reminded you of someone you loved. But despite your immortality, you were still capable of human mistakes.

“So you didn’t know he was my son?” Marcus asked quietly. You could see the inner workings of his mind ruminating as you shook your head no. “Do you love him? Were you really going to marry him?”

The questions caught you off guard. Although at some point you were expecting them, you didn’t think it would be this early in conversation. It might be for the better if it got out of the way as soon as possible, so you could explain yourself.

The first cut would be the deepest, although the rest would still hurt.

“I love the idea of him,” you emphasized, ashamed of yourself for giving in to such fantasy. “I thought I could love him the way I did you, that he could be a vessel of my love for you. That I could, for a few days, remember how it felt— how you felt. That I could have you one more time,” you paused and sighed, intertwining your hands together to twist them nervously. “I only met him a week ago, marriage did not cross my mind at all. I was going to leave once—”

“Once it got too serious,” he finished for you.

Marcus went quiet again, his eyes transfixed on you. You wished Juno blessed you with the ability to read minds, to know what he was thinking right this moment. Did he hate you for what you just revealed? Did he think you were sick for trying to live out a fleeting dream? Would he forgive you for such despicable behaviour?

“Do you still love me?” his gravelly voice was so low, for a moment you thought you had imagined it.

But the doubt, the fresh hurt in his wounded gaze, told you otherwise.

You gaped for air, your lungs strained with sorrow. You should fib, stand by your initial lie, tell him you didn’t. But what had that gotten you the first time around except for a life of misery and loneliness? What had that gotten him?

“I do. I do love you, Marcus,” you whispered, out of breath due to the pounding of your heart. “Couldn’t be any other way. You’re the other half of my soul that I’ve been missing for so long.”

Time stilled as you looked Marcus dead in the eyes. You were not expecting anything out of your raw confession, because the time for those had passed. It was what you should have said thirty-five years ago, not now. You were too late to mend the love that had slipped through the cracks of time.

“Then that’s all that matters,” he finally broke the silence, his voice laced with emotion.

The admission shook you. Could this be true, really happening? Did he still love you after all this time?

In a couple of strides, you found yourself in his arms, the way it should have been ages ago. His forearms wrapped around you like a warm blanket as his head bowed down to taste your lips.

You kissed him back, first sweetly, then fiercely. You kissed him with all the unexpressed love you held in your heart, with the passion your true love deserved. His tongue was as sweet as you remembered, as soothing as your memory recalled. A dance ensued, his tongue reading a love letter to yours.

Your hands, which had been resting on his chest, drifted up to cradle his face — his moustache and stubble pickling the skin of your palms. Marcus untied his mouth from yours to kiss your tears goodbye, then pressed a peck on your forehead. His heart was beating as loud as yours, in unison like true soulmates.

“I’ve missed you. I never stopped thinking about you, lux mihi,” he confessed under his breath. “Life was never the same after you left.”

His admission made your heart flutter even further, and you couldn’t help but let your hands roam his back. Your fingers played with the knot holding the toga in place, his seeping warmth beckoning.

“I need you, Marcus. Make love to me,” you pleaded, leaving a love trail of kisses on his neck.

Marcus’ chest rumbled at your plea, his lips hunting down yours in a heartbeat. His hands were quick with your clothing, worshipping the curves of your body as it was revealed to him. You did the same with his toga, until you were both bare, standing in front of each other.

You saw his eyes lingering on every nook and cranny of your skin before they found yours. A thunder of connection ran through you, of yearning. On your tiptoes, you kissed him again, pressing your breasts onto his chest while your fingertips traced the map of his back.

You didn’t expect all the bumps and grooves you found on his skin; battle scars dotted around everywhere. Some thick and protuberant, some thin and soft. Marcus keened at your touch, silently letting you know that some of them were too sensitive to be caressed.

How much hurt his body and heart had endured, a life dedicated to war and duty. Your heart cried for him, for not being able to be by his side when he needed you most. Had you taken up his offer, had he run away from responsibility with you, his skin would tell a different story.

But the past couldn’t be changed, only the present was malleable enough to shape a new future.

Slowly he pushed you towards the bed, his hands resting on either side of your waist while his thumb drew lazy circles on your bristled skin. Raking your fingers through his silver curls, you leaned back on the mattress, his warm body blanketing yours.

His hands found the apex of your breasts, soft fingers rubbing your taut nipples as your head tilted back. Marcus licked the salt of your exposed neck, finding your pulse point. He kissed the spot and lingered, your vein pulsing against his lips as one of his hands discovered the slick your thighs harboured for him.

The feathery caress of his ring finger outlining your seam turned you into a whimpering mess. His pad stroked your nub, a slight flick followed before it slid down your slit and found your weeping hole. He circled it a few times, taunting you effortlessly, before returning to your clit.

You heaved, lips pursed so your moans would stay contained. In the dead of the night, you worried this show of love would seep through the walls. But not even the thought of his marriage, the thought of Magnus lying in bed a few rooms over, could stop you from joining your bodies together the way the Gods intended.

Marcus’ mouth travelled down the column of your neck, kissing the center of your clavicle before he went further down. Your unattended nipple was soon enough smothered by the wetness between his lips, and you fisted his hair in response, gently tugging at it.

“Marcus,” you moaned, eyes shut. Rejoiced.

One nipple drowned in his spit, the other pinched between his fingers, and his ring finger pressing tight circles on your thudding clit had you fighting to remain silent. But the moment the hand between your hands moved down and his digit teased your walls apart as it sank in your slick warmth, you couldn’t stop the muffled yet loud moan.

“Sing for me, meum corculum (my little heart),” Marcus husked. The gentle pumping of his finger in your wet heat had you quietly howling a few seconds later. “That’s it.”

Your felt your walls contract, pulse around his finger, holding onto him for dear life. Feeling your need as his own, Marcus dunked his middle finger in your pussy too, stretching you while his thumb stroked your clit. The combination of it all made you clench around him, almost begging for release.

“Let go for me,” Marcus asked between licks, and you couldn’t resist his prayer.

The coil that had been tightening inside you finally snapped, releasing a wave that coursed through your quaking body like a tumultuous sea. Your back slightly arched as your thighs trembled around his forearm, chest rising with a dire need for oxygen.

Marcus chuckled softly, setting your nipple free as he searched for your mouth again. He devoured you as you came down from your high, his erect cock gently resting on your mound. The weight of it on your sensitive skin felt like it belonged. The anticipation of welcoming him inside you made you gush.

“Let me drink you, kiss you, savour you,” he pressed a kiss on your mouth after each pause.

Your skin flushed; the proposition was somewhat indecent. It was lewd, frowned upon, and you were tethered to the chains of social decency. But there was nothing decent about infidelity, after all.

“Please, mea vita (my life). I can make you reach for the moon and the stars in the ceiling above if you let me, make you touch them,” he promised.

You shyly nodded, and his boyish grin grew wider, his lips tensing. So contagious, you smiled back as he came off you and moved your body until your butt was on the edge of the mattress.

He scooted you over towards him until the back of your knees were resting on his shoulders — leaving you completely exposed to his hungry gaze. His eyes lingered on your leaking dampness, his dilated pupils tracing the outline of your seam. The intensity of it all, the deep connection, made your thighs press together against his neck, wanting to hide your core from him.

You had nothing to be shy of, as Marcus had already seen you bare before. Sex with him had always been ardent, fervent — the heat of passion always got the best of you both, a certain urgency to consummate your love. But now? Now was different. There was no rush in his movements, in how his thumbs pried your pussy lips open, in how his warm lips brushed the sensitive skin on your inner thigh. His calm confidence in taking you as he had promised was new to you, who never had all the time in the world. But right now, you did. For Marcus, you did. Always would.

Your lashes fluttered, kissing the apples of your cheeks the moment the languid strokes of his tongue met your swollen flaps. He kissed one gently, then the other, before the wet muscle lapped from your gushing hole up to your clit. So venerating were his licks, your limbs relaxed at the intimate kiss.

“You taste like ambrosia, lux mihi. The best relish I have ever been graced with,” his hot breath collided with the cold skin on your slit, your body trembling in response.

“Marcus, please,” you begged, although you were not sure why, or what you were asking of him.

He didn’t leave you waiting again. His fingers sank in the flesh of your thighs while his tongue dived inside your slick furrow. So dextrous were his charges, you couldn’t help but mewl like a starved kitten in a back alley asking for leftovers. First, he flicked your excited bundle of nerves, and then he suckled on it, his jaw working you through the climb to another orgasm. The buildup was intense, but it became feverish the moment his finger joined the action — it slid easily inside, curled to caress the precise spongy spot of your arousal.

Unaware of your own actions, one of your hands slithered down your belly until you fisted his curls — pushing him towards the centre of your heat, not away from it. He hadn’t lied — the stars appeared behind your eyes, bright like the future you wished you had with him. A sea of constellations, all imploding at once in an amazing rain of stars that blinded you as you came crashing down from the skies.

You heaved and wailed his name in ecstasy, your entire body quivering with the strength of a thousand suns. Your entrance clenched around his finger as you held your breasts, your thumbs ghosting the taut buttons. You leaked your pleasure on his mouth, and he drank unashamedly, grateful of your offering.

A sweet kiss on your mound before he towered over you, and you could only look at him in awe with raw, true love. When his battered body blanketed yours, you draped your arms around his waist, hands lightly resting on his lower back. The knowing smirk on his lips spoke of a muted “I told you so.”

“I love you,” he whispered instead.

Your heart swooned and healed and cried and exploded. All at once. He hadn’t said those exact words yet, but they were veiled in every sentence, every action he had said or done tonight. Deep inside you were eternally grateful that he hadn’t grown to hate you, that his love for you remained intact despite heartache, circumstances and time.

Unbeknownst to you, tears welled up, ones that Marcus drank too. As he did, your palms stroked his ribs, careful to avoid the scars you had come to learn were too delicate. Eager, one slid off his skin until your fingers wrapped around his throbbing manhood. Eyes down, you saw the pearly bead of pre-cum commending you to butter it on his flushed head. With your thumb you caressed the tip, and Marcus’ lips parted in need — an invitation you quickly accepted, dunking your tongue in his mouth.

A few pumps had him groaning and soon enough you were guiding him to the pocket of heat between your thighs. His cockhead kissed your gushing entrance the same way his lips did — knowing, denuded, possessing. And slowly he made his way in, parting your flesh like a new stream disturbing the earth beneath. The burning sting was most welcomed, blossoming into a fullness you had craved for decades.

“I’m home,” Marcus rasped when he was fully seated in your cunt.

Your throat clamped a little, emotion overtaking your senses the same way his erection did.

“Welcome home, dilectus (beloved),” you muttered with a loving smile and teary eyes.

You melted into a slow kiss as Marcus rocked his hips, rutting into you almost lethargically, wanting the moment to last. You let him set the pace, the drag of his cock in your pussy a delight that had you reaching for the stars again and your inner walls squeezing him tight. The sweet rhythm of his swaying tightened the slick, hot coil that pooled low in your belly, and the moment Marcus gained momentum, you followed.

Needily he started fucking into you with precision, chasing both of your highs. His dick pulsed inside you, your heartbeat instinctually adapting to his in a second. Both so close to the sky above, gasping for air now, you rocked underneath him to amplify such pleasure.

“Marcus,” you whimpered, your hands now cradling his face. You lost yourself in his eyes, blown and loving. “Please, inside,” was everything you murmured.

Even after your petition, the snap of his hips against yours didn’t falter. Instead, the pace increased as his wild orbs studied your blissed out expression.

“Do you mean it?” You nodded effusively. “Do you want your belly round with my child?”

You didn’t even know if it was possible — yes, you looked young but were closer to a hundred and fifty years on this earth than to the day you were born. The fertility of your womb was one you never dared to test in your immortal life, but the thought of having such a memory—someone—to remember him by when the days grew cold and the nights dark was overpowering reality.

“Yes, I do,” you reassured him, pecking his lips softly.

His head fell, his face resting on the crook of your neck, while he made love to you. His moves stuttered, announcing his climax, and your pussy hugged him tight in a natural response. The moment the first ropes hit your cervix, you came undone too. As Marcus filled you with his warm spent, you creamed around his beating girth, your hands holding onto his shoulders as your back arched and your nipples kissed his chest.

It took both of you a few minutes to come down, for the haze of lovemaking to slowly dissolve in the musky air. Marcus hungered for your lips and he hunted them down with eagerness. Your bodies finally untied, his cock leaving you empty yet satisfied.

You hoped—prayed—his seed would take root in your womb. Even if it was impossible, the sliver of a miraculous possibility gave you a resemblance of hope. So you pressed your thighs together, greedy of his gift.

Marcus rolled off you, falling onto his tummy besides you. Quickly you laid on your side, your fingertips tracing the lines of his skin again. A feathery touch to alleviate the harshness of life. He unburied his face from the pillow and turned to look at you.

His smile was instant, and so was yours.

For an hour no words were spoken at all, no sleep was achieved either. You both remained silent, staring at each other, soaking up the love that flooded the chamber.

Replacing your fingers with your lips, you kissed the scars on his back, his shoulders, his arms. And finally his nose and cheek, where you dawdled as if your caress could erase the pain they inflicted.

“What are we going to do, amica mea?” Marcus husked after what felt like an eternity.

Reality set in, leaving a gaping hole in your belly. What could you do? Would you be strong enough to stay by his side for however long the goddess Mors took to claim him? Strong enough to build a life you knew was ephemeral? And once he was gone from this mortal plane, what would be left of you?

The choice was an impossible one. One that you should have made decades ago, when the heart was whole and the mind still strong. Now you knew how arduous life was without him, how—for years—you had looked for him in the small details and every single man who resembled him, how the regret and the grief haunted you at every turn of a decade. Now you knew that life wasn’t worth living if you didn’t have Marcus to share it with.

You traced the profile of his nose with your lips before pressing a soft kiss on his.

“I am not sure, but I am willing to try… if you are,” you whispered, leaning back.

The implications of such life were huge for him. Married, with a son who though himself in love with you, an acclaimed General who served Rome even when Rome didn’t serve him. His responsibilities were greater than yours, Marcus had so much to lose. Had you accepted his proposal when you should have, neither of you would be in such dire situation.

Marcus sighed heavily, rolling onto his side to face you. His calloused hand cradled your cheek, his eyes filled with a determination you wished you had back then, when life was easier.

“There is nothing nor no one that could stop me from spending the rest of my life with you, lux mihi,” he mumbled, hand dropping to your hip. “I said it then, and I will say it again: I do not care for this life if you are not with me. I don’t care about reputation nor retaliation. For over fifty years I have done what was expected of me, and I am done living my life for Rome and her vice. You’re the stars that light up my path in the darkest of nights, the warm sun that guides me home. For however long you’ll have me, I’ll be with you. My heart was always yours, mea vita, since the moment I landed eyes on you. And I don’t want it back, ever, even if you have to leave again.”

The softness of his delivery, the truth his words emanated, brought tears to your eyes. You thought yourself unworthy of his love, his devotion, when you had only caused heartbreak. But this was your second chance, one you were not going to let go.

You moved closer to him as his arm wrapped around you. With your forehead resting on his naked chest, you traced invisible lines on his ribs.

“I won’t leave. That broke me once, can’t handle it a second time. I love you and want to spend the rest of our time together showing you how much I do, making up for lost time. For however long,” you repeated, kissing his chin.

There was a brief pause, and you knew what his next words would be.

“How old are you?” the question you had always avoided, dreaded.

“Close to three times your age,” you confessed, looking up at him through your lashes.

The answer slowly sank in, but instead of horror, incomprehension and disgust, you only found acceptance. As if it was just another fact about you, nothing of major importance.

“You look amazing for being close to one hundred and fifty years of age,” he joked with a grin to lighten the mood. You let out a soft laugh in response. “How? If you want to share.”

The story of how you came to be ageless wasn’t a pleasant one. But your life was full of secrets that had ruined every human link you had to this earth, and you wouldn’t let them spoil the only real connection you had left.

“I… I was promised to a man, one who I thought was worthy of my love. There were things I was blind to at that time, and only time showed them to me. I thought everything was going as expected, he was always so courteous and respectful in public. Until our wedding night, when he…” you paused, the memories too painful even after all this time, “he abused me, and let his friends use me. When they were done, they left me for dead in a ditch.”

Marcus’ arm draped around you tighter, his heart beating so loud you could hear it thumping against his chest. He hugged you close, his warmth calming and reassuring. Marcus was nothing like that man, if your abuser could even be considered a person. You knew he never would be so despicable — you were as sure as the first lights of the sun would wake you up tomorrow.

“It took me hours to finally drift away. And when I did, Juno greeted me. Said the man had wronged me, and that I should have a second chance to understand what marriage and true love actually were about. Then she touched me right here,” you caressed the peacock-shaped birthmark, “and breathed life into me.”

Marcus leaned back a little to inspect your torn features. The heartache he had to endure paled in comparison to yours. How could someone inflict such hurt on another? He couldn’t even fathom such disgusting scenario. That man was the reincarnation of evil, and he wished he suffered the most agonising death.

He had only seen your soul’s purity, your kindness, your benevolence. Anyone who didn’t was blind.

“You did not deserve that ending, amica mea — no one does. He didn’t deserve you,” his heart cried for you, for the weight you had carried for over a century. “You’ve got the purest heart I have ever known. A soul that I will protect until my dying breath.”

“A half soul,” you interrupted him, and Marcus looked at you confused. “Because your other half completes mine.”

His heart jolted, this time because of the sweetness of your confession. That muscle had grown bigger in the last two hours than in his entire lifetime. He sworn himself to stand by your side, come what may. You would never be wronged again, not if he could avoid it.

“We’re leaving tonight,” Marcus declared without skipping a beat.

“What? What about your wife, your son?” your eyes had widened, but his resolution was firm.

“My wife… she’s not been my wife for years. She’s poison. And my son…” he shrugged, conflicted. “He’ll eventually understand, or so I hope. I believe he might already have an inkling that something weird was at play from the moment I said your real name.”

“Marcus, are you sure? You’d be sacrificing so much for me, I wouldn’t want to—”

He didn’t let you finish, his mouth covering yours in a passionate kiss that slowly turned gentle and soothing. Your hands caressing his battle-scarred skin was like a balm; your touch the first and only one to cure all his ailments. Unhurriedly, he sat back up on the bed, dragging you with him.

“Let’s leave now. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, lux mihi,” Marcus purred against your lips.

Fifteen minutes later, you were both clothed and atop of two horses, blending in with the shadows of the night that concealed your departures, in search of a new life. Together.

taglist: @orcasoul @lilac-boo @picketniffler @almostfoxglove @gothcsz @liciafonseca @namenotimportant1373

[lavenders388]

Hey! i was wondering if you can write a fluff story of kang dae ho x reader in the games! just about him being protective and stuff if you know what i mean!

~When the Sun Hits~

✩°𓏲⋆🌿. ⋆⸜ 🍵✮˚ Kang Dae Ho x Reader

requested 💌

wc: 709 (short n sweet!)

a/n thank you so much for all the love and all the requests!! I'm getting my nails done soon LOL they're so grown out its hard to write so after that ill be more active!!! ily all<3 -matcha

comfort was hard to come by in this place of death, desperation, and shock, let alone the safety and security you craved. you felt much safer than you did the first game, compared to being alone and confused you now were part of a team, another member claiming to have gone through the games and offering help.

all of the members of your group had such unique personalities, gi hun being the one that originally caught your attention with his assistance in the first game; geum ja and her son's loving arguments providing a sense of sweetness and even occasional entertainment; jung bae's jokes providing humanity in the dark place you've all found yourselves trying to survive in. but no one caught your attention nearly as much as the man closest to your age, dae ho.

dae ho's respectful admiration of gi hun and then jung bae made you smile to yourself. "how could someone be so bubbly after what just happened here?" you wondered to yourself, the situation in front of you becoming more contrasting to the place it was happening in. you giggled to yourself as he shouted "SIR!" at jung bae for the fourth time in a row.

you didnt notice how it made him smile.

your focus shifted as gi hun began explaining the next game. the reality of going through the childhood game-themed blood bath sinking in. you listened intently as he explained what shape to pick. you began to feel less anxious, you knew what to expect and how to survive in the next game; and you weren't doing it alone, you had your team this time.

the thought of that made your demeanor soften. shifting from the feared facial expression to one of relief and appreciation. jung bae notices, asking you kindly "how are you holding up with all of this?" you respond with a smile, appreciating his care "better. I'm glad i found people and even more glad i have an idea of what I'm going into this time."

dae ho smiles again. this time you notice.

"are you feeling better as well? you should be, i mean you're the one who asked him." you said genuinely. he stutters; not expecting you to strike up a conversation with him and a bit embarrassed you noticed him smiling to himself. "i am!" he beams, "I'm also glad to have found a group, thank you for asking." your smile deepens, more than you had wanted it to. "thank you! what did you say your name was again?" you ask; knowing he had told jung bae his name earlier. "dae ho!" he exclaims adorably. "what is yours if you're comfortable sharing?" he asks respectful of the fact you may not want to share personal information at a death game. "y/n!" you say to him with a smile.

this time everyone notices how it makes you smile. jung bae chuckles as he gives gi hun a suggestive look.

"lights out is in 30 minutes." the recorded voice echos throughout the room. your fear returns as gi hun warns that things might get violent as the night progresses. your worry begins to show on your face as you look around, trying to remember where your bed was. the group, especially dae ho notices, and they all agree to let you stay near them for the night.

a silence falls on the group as the players all begin to settle in for the night. you turn around, noticing that dae ho moved from his bunk behind you to a new bed in front of you. you pretend not to notice, afraid you might smile or blush in an obvious way. you deeply appreciated the secure feeling being around this tall, handsome, almost stranger gave you.

he didnt feel like a stranger, you reminded yourself you just knew his name and that he was in the marines. you wanted to learn more; as you went to bed with the comforting stranger in front of you, protecting you from whatever lurked in the darkness, you hoped not just for your survival in the next game, but for your whole group to make it out.

you knew he would protect you against whatever was to come the next day.

✩°𓏲⋆🌿. ⋆⸜ 🍵✮˚

[fl3shm4id3n]

ʀᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴜʀᴘʟᴇ

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐬, 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧. 𝐇𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 ��𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐲 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬.

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴛʜᴀɴᴏꜱ (ᴄʜᴏɪ ꜱᴇᴜɴɢ-ʜʏᴜɴ) x ꜰᴇᴍ! ꜱɪɴɢᴇʀ/ʀᴀᴘᴘᴇʀ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

Tw: Squid Game 2 SPOILERS, smoking, slut shaming, criticism from the public, death, blood, Thanos having the hots for reader, reader is kinda based on Megan Thee Stallion.

A/N: I've been listening to Megan Thee Stallion and Doja Cat again, I got some inspiration.

Masterlist

You were know as the infamous rapper 'Cherry' due that signature bright red color you wore all the time. You were at your golden age, everyone loved you. Specially young women your age, probably due because you sang songs about women struggles and anything involving women. Everywhere you went, you got recognized. You asked to take photos, sign pictures and other kinds of merch that your fans had in hand. You didn't mind, you loved your fans. They were the reason you became famous in the first place.

But then, you began to get criticized, according to a much older audience you were vulgar and not very lady like. They also criticized your music and how it was a bad influence to the younger generation. Not to mention your music videos. They criticized those too, simply because you wore very provocative outfits and danced inappropriately. The final straw was when you were spotted smoking cigarettes outside a night club. You got criticized even more. You even got slut shamed for it. You didn't understand the hate you got, you wondered if you were a man, would they still treat you the same?

You began to loose deals, no one really wanted to work with you. Scared about their reputation, you understood their explanation. It just sucked that you couldn't do what you really love. At some point, you had considered in no longer making music. But your fans had encouraged you to keep doing music, some even suggested you move to the States. You thought about it for a while now. Moving to the States wasn't so bad, you knew they weren't as critical as they were here. So you've made up your mind and decided to move to the US. But there was a problem, you barely had any money. That was going to be a problem, and your savings weren't going to cover the expenses. You needed money and needed it fast.

So, here you were. Dressed in a green tracksuit with the number '013'. You were told you'll be playing some games and get a huge amount of cash. There was a lot of people, were they here for the money too? Interesting. You were explained the rules and even signed a consent form and all that. While you were getting escorted to the first game, but first you had to get your picture taken. As you waited in line, you noticed a group of people huddling over a guy with purple hair. You knew right away who it was, it was the one and only Thanos. You were a huge fan of his, you had wanted to do a collaboration with him at some point.

"Omg, is that Cherry?!" Someone said, making everyone in that small group turn to look at you. "It is!" Someone else chimed in. Then they began to try and get you to go over to take a picture. Even Thanos chimed in. "Hey, I don't mind one more person, come on." He encouraged, before you could say anything, the guard came over and had told the group that they couldn't take picture that way, they had to be individual. No matter how much they begged to make an exception. The guard said no, Thanos then told that after the games, he'll take pictures with all of them. They all agreed and processed to get in line to get their pictures taken. When it was your turn, you made sure your hair was descent then processed to do your signature pose. You wondered if you could get your picture printed.

As you continued to walk to the destination of the game. A girl behind you, better known as player 196. "You're Cherry right?" She asked. "The one and only." You responded, she kind of squealed in excitement. "OMG, I always wanted to meet you in person. I've been to every single concert of yours!" She said, you couldn't help but smile and chuckle. "You have?" She asked. "Of course. I love your album RED, I listen to it 24/7." She explained excitedly. "I wish I had my phone so I can take a picture with you. Maybe even follow each other on Instagram." She said, still very excited to be right next to her idol.

Once outside, you and player 196 were still right next to each other. You had a feeling that she'd be stuck with you for the rest of the games, you didn't mind. "Hey, Señorita." You heard someone say behind you. You and player 196 turn to see who it was. It was the one and only Thanos. "Don't you know who I am?" He asked, while walking along side you and 196. "Do we have to?" She asked. "I do. Thanos The Mad Titan." You responded, making Thanos smile. "Das right. We can get to know each other. Tell me about yourself." He said, directly at you. "Are you hitting on me?" You couldn't help but asked. "Oh yeah, he definitely is." 196 said in response.

"In the sea of faces, you caught my eye. My beauty, my flower blooming among weeds." He paused as he sang to catch his breath. "Red, orange, yellow, green. I'm a legend Thanos." He finished as he did his very known pose. You and 196 listened and watched as he continued to small rap. "Look at us in this blue-green. Now give me the green light." He paused, then look directly at you. "I like you!" He said, as he did the heart with his pointer finger and thumb, then wiggled his eye brow at you. You couldn't help but chuckle and feel your face heat up. "Do you even know who she is?" 196 asked. "Of course I do. The one and only Cherry." He said, but then he continued. "'I'd rather be a B.I.T.C.H 'cause that's what you gon' call me when I'm trippin' anyway'. Real Hot Girl Shit, Ah! " He finish his sentence with a quote from one of your songs and your catch phrase, as he then posed just like you did earlier in your picture. Making you chuckle. "I never thought thee Thanos listens to my music." You responded. "Of course I do. I know talent when I see it." He said. "Ya know, red really is your color. That lipstick suits you well." He said confidently. You couldn't help but smile at him.

Then the game rules were explained. It was green light, red light. It should be easy right. Then a guy began to yell and scream on what to do and what not to do. Who even was he. When the game started, he continued to yell and tell everyone not to move. "Freeze! Nobody move!" He yelled. You, Thanos and 196 stood still near each other. "Is he high or what?" 196 asked. "Nope. No one is like that when they're high." Thanos added. "Then he must be drunk or off his meds." You also added. You then heard a small bug fly by. You followed it with your eyes and noticed how it landed right on player 196. "What's that?" She asked, still not moving. "He knows you're a flower. There's a bee on you." Thanos teased. "A bee?!" She then began to freak out an move like crazy. You remained still, just watching her.

She stopped then turn to look at you and Thanos. "Crap, I just moved." She said as she chuckled. Then a gunshot was heard, followed by 196 getting her brains blown and falling right in front of you. Both you and Thanos got splattered in her blood and some brain matter. Even at that, you still remained frozen. Your eyes shifted to look down at her, seen a huge bullet wound on her forehead along with blood. The bee had come back and landed onto her cheek. The man yelled again. "Do not move!" He warned. You were frozen, you just witnessed someone getting shot. You wanted to scream, but you didn't. You feared that if you moved, you'd be next. Then people began screaming and running. Gun shots were heard and people were getting shot. Despite that, you still didn't move. You didn't want to die like this.

For the remainder of the game, you followed the guys instructions. It was obvious that you were scared, but you kept on going. You threw yourself across the finish line. Relieved that you were alive.

Back at the lobby, you were sitting on the floor near your bunk. Still breathing heavily, your hands were shaking. You were also slightly biting your extra long stiletto red nail on your pointer finger, nervously. You felt yourself slightly gag, you then covered your mouth with your hand. Feeling sick. Nothing came out, but your stomach was turning. You didn't even notice Thanos sitting next to you. "You okay?" He asked. You then uncovered your mouth. "I'm good, no worries." You said, still shaky. Thanos noticed and took your hand into his. Giving them small rubs and trying to ease your nerves. His hand were pretty warm and felt very comforting. You were more calm by his small kind gesture.

A bit letter, the same man began to argue with the pink men. Asking about the votes and all that. You weren't focus on any of that, you were more focus on what the hell you jus witnessed. The image of that girl was engraved in your head. You sure needed therapy after this. When the pink showed the amount of money in the piggy bank, your eyes were glued to the clear piggy. Seen that much money all together. Made your worries go away. All that money could help you get to the States and more. When you heard the more eliminated players, more money will be added. Was it bad that you wanted to stay for more? Who care if people will die, they're fucked from the get go. They'd either die here or out there.

When it came to the voting, a lot of people voted to stay. There was arguing with that guy. Claiming he played these games before. But no one really cared, people chose to stay and play. When it was your turn, you pressed O and given the O velcro patch to put on your jacket. When you headed to the O side, Thanos and some guy stood right next to you. "Good choice Señorita." He said with a goofy smile. "I need to the money, so. Either I get it here or I go back home empty handed." You simply said, almost cold. Thanos nodded his head, then wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you close to him. "Just stick with me, I'll protect you." He said, very confident. He then leaned down and literally licked the blood off your cheek. You groaned, but didn't mind. You couldn't help but chuckle by his action.

"You a freak or something?" You asked, while you wiped the saliva off your cheek with the jacket sleeve. "Baby, I'll be whatever you want me to be." He said, with a smirk while looking directly at you. You couldn't help but slightly bite your red bottom lip. Almost as if you were flirting with him. "I like you, like really like you." He said. "You only just met me today." You added. "Pfft, so? The moment I saw you, I knew I'd like you." He said with a flirtious smile. "Maybe this is fate." You teased. "Ya know, maybe I didn't get all the infinity stones." He said. You raised your brow. "Oh? And why is that?" You asked. "Well, I do have purple, yellow, blue and green. But, there's one missing." He said. "And that one is?" You asked. Thanos then responded. "I just need red. Red is the Reality stone." He said. You tilted your head to side, waiting for him continue. "And Baby, you're my reality." He said with a wink. You couldn't help but roll your eyes and laugh at his corny line. "What? It's true." He said. Maybe being in these life and death games wasn't going to be too bad.

[psychoticbipolarbear]

Gifts

pairing: Spencer Reid x reader

summary: You and Spencer broke up two years ago, but now you received a gift on the anniversary of the biggest tragedy of your lives, so you give him a visit to confront him.

word count: 1.5k

tags: fem!reader, mention of a child's death

Birthday. Halloween. Christmas. Anniversary. Pi Day. Doctor Who Day. 

Flowers. Small presents. Sometimes both. 

It’s been almost two years since you and Spencer agreed to end your relationship, yet he keeps sending you stuff. There is usually a card with SR on it, but there is no other message. You never really understood why he keeps sending them, but you aren’t about to give him the satisfaction of showing interest. You just throw them out. Each and every one of them.

Today you find another gift on your doorstep, wrapped in shiny blue paper, decorated with a big white bow on the top and, of course, it has the usual card tucked under the bow. You haven’t received a present on this particular day before, this is a first, and you can’t help but wonder what made him send one now. It’s sick and twisted, there’s absolutely nothing to celebrate about today, if anything, it’s a day to forget. But then you open the box, and it’s white-hot rage that fills your mind. 

Without hesitation, you put the gift in your bag and head to Spencer’s apartment, already planning what profanities you’re gonna throw at him for messing with you like this. He from all people should know better than to remind you of this, in fact, you’re surprised he’s that okay with remembering what happened on this day. Each step that takes you closer to his door makes you a little more nervous, because you don’t know how talking to him about this will play out. 

You knock, keeping it civil and gentle at first, but then you put a little more force into the move to make sure he hears you. Within a matter of seconds the door opens, and you’re standing face to face with the man who was the love of your life, the one who turned himself into the boogeyman with those gifts. But today’s present crossed a line, you couldn’t ignore the problem any longer. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks you, sounding honestly confused to find your standing there.

It’s hard to bite back the sarcastic laugh that wants to erupt from your throat. Taking a deep breath to prepare yourself, you push him aside and march inside, waiting for him to come after you in silence. As you watch him move, you take a better look at him–at his face, at his movements, everything. He’s different. Very different. He looks exhausted and stressed, and you can’t help but wonder what’s causing it. Where’s the sweet nerdy guy you spent over four years with?

Clearing your throat, you open your bag and put the gift on the coffee table. “Explain this.” Spencer’s eyes move to the item, the fuzzy, reddish-brown, newborn-sized jumpsuit with the fox on it, then he looks back at you with a look that shows honest confusion. “In the past years, you gave me no choice but to get used to the gifts you’re sending. Fine, I throw them out and forget about them. But this? Why? This is the first time you sent me anything on this day. It’s sick, Spencer, you know it! You have a gun, shooting me in the head would be more gentle. Or did you turn into some sick sadist?!” you scream, tears forming in the corners of your eyes.

He opens his mouth to speak up, but he struggles to find the right words for a while. “Okay, take a deep breath and calm down. The other gifts? Yes, those were from me, and I’ll stop, I promise. This? I have nothing to do with this one,” he promises as he runs his hand over the little jumpsuit. “But sadly, I have a pretty good guess who sent this so-called gift to you.”

“Is it related to one of your cases?” you ask hesitantly, knowing full well it could be an answer.

With a sigh, Spencer runs a hand through his hair. “Sort of.” When he turns back to you and sees your questioning look, he takes a deep breath and begins his explanation. “There’s a woman. She’s in prison, but she’s been messing with me, even from there. I think she wants to drag you into this. I’m so sorry,” he says softly, his tone giving away that he’s being completely honest. 

It’s hard to look at him after this, so you sit on the couch and wait for him to do the same. Once he sits next to you, keeping a comfortable distance not to upset you, you can’t help but fidget with the zip of your leather jacket. “Are you in danger?” 

“I’m more worried about you,” is all he says in response. When you turn to look at him, he gulps. “I’m going to take you home so you can pack a few things, then you’ll have to come back with me. I’ll protect you, okay? I’ll figure this out,” he promises as his hand slowly inches closer to yours. 

You force yourself to look at him, your brain in overdrive as you try to figure out if you should trust him or not. This is the man you once loved more than anything, the one you had a family with, and the very same person your family loved so much. But he has changed. You can’t quite put a finger on it, but the feeling’s there, and you can’t shake it off. Your eyes flick back at the jumpsuit on the table, glued to the damn thing as if it was calling out your name, and the words spill out before you could stop yourself. 

“You still have photos of her, don’t you?” you ask quietly. 

“Of course I do.” When you turn to him, he’s watching you with a slightly tilted head. “You don’t?”

“No. I wanted to throw them away, I thought getting rid of them would help me move on, but my parents kept them, so…” 

Spencer suddenly takes your hand, gently squeezing it in quiet reassurance. Losing your daughter hurt him just as much, maybe even more, which is why someone using the day she died against him must be a real hard punch in the gut. You can’t help but remember the nights he spent by her crib, telling her stories until he dozed off too. But your little family fell apart when she got sick, and no matter how good the doctors were, there was nothing they could do to save her. You both blamed yourselves, and grief eventually led to the two of you drifting away from each other. 

He kisses the back of your hand to pull you out of your thoughts, flashing a sad smile at you when your eyes meet. “I kept her stuff in a storage unit. I know I said I gave them away, but I couldn’t. Guess this one fell into the wrong hands,” he explains, guilt filling his voice. Even though he falls silent, you can see the wheels turning in his head. “Just bear with me until I put an end to this, okay? I only want the best for you, you know that, don’t you?” When you nod, he leans down to place a soft kiss on your forehead. “Alright, let’s go get your things.”

“Spence?” With a questioning hum, he looks down at you, his hand still holding yours, ready to pull you up. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” 

“Saying no to couples therapy. I didn’t fight for our relationship hard enough. You deserved better,” you tell him with an apologetic look. 

Spencer suddenly crouches to be more or less on eye level with you. “We can still fix things, just say the word,” he assures you with a smile, his thumb gently caressing your skin. “I will always love you, no matter what. In fact, thinking about you helped me a lot while I was in prison.”

This freezes your brain temporarily. “You were in what?”

He shakes his head a little as he stands up. “Long story, but I’ll tell you once we get back,” he says, finally managing to pull you up too. 

The two of you just stand there in silence for a short while, and you can’t help but wonder why you gave up that easily. Sure, the grief was bad, but you loved him so much, and you could have helped each other move on. Instead, you chose to be alone, hoping falling back into the steady, boring rhythm of your life would make things right. It didn’t. You’re miserable, still suffering from the loss of your daughter, and being in Spencer’s company is a painful reminder of that. But maybe, just maybe, this sick bastard who’s playing their sick little games with him might bring you closer to each other again.

[simmplerussiangirl]

The courting

Sevika x Reader

Synopsis: Sevika had never been courted, bought her a drink, given her flowers and candy, or insisted on socializing. And then she came into her life.

Word count:2.3k

a/n: I love Sevika with all my heart. God, I hope my future wife will be like her. Otherwise, I don't see the point of moving on with my life lol.

- Wow,” I said, running my hand across the table where a girl of unimaginable beauty was sitting. She was smoking a cigarette and doing something with her mechanical arm, apparently fixing it. - So beautiful and alone. And bored.

 I sat down on the chair opposite the girl. Smiling with all her 32 teeth, I examined her without shyness. Her cheekbones were the first thing that caught my eye, and it looked like you could cut yourself if you swiped them. Oh, and what that look was worth.... She was looking at me angrily from under her forehead with her deep dark brown eyes. Her bushy eyebrows were pulled down to the bridge of her nose.

- Get out of here,” she looked down at her hand again, painstakingly fixing some part of it.

 I laughed softly and leaned on my palm, watching her movements with rapt attention. A lock of short, dark hair fell over her eyes, and she jerked her head to remove it. Allowing me to see her powerful neck, its veins bulging.

- I wouldn't dream of it - I smiled again - What did you say your name was?

 The girl looked at me again unhappily, taking a cigarette in her healthy hand and taking a puff.

- 'I didn't say my name. Get out of here before I spoil your face.

- Oh, you like it rough,” I laughed, and leaned back in my chair, watching her look of surprise, then curved my lips in a squeamish way and returned to my hand. - Don't worry, I like that too. I won't leave you until you tell me your name, you must understand that.

The girl snorted contemptuously.

-Sevika- -she angrily tapped her mechanical arm, she was clearly having trouble with it.

-Wonderful, I'm Sophie,” I smiled captivatingly as she looked at me angrily.

 I got up from the table and walked over to her, leaning slightly toward her face. Sevika pulled her head back sharply, which made me giggle slightly.

- You didn't put the spring in, Sevika - I sweetly held out the girl's name tasting it and held out my palm to her with the piece from her hand - Here you go.

 I watched with amusement as bewilderment and then rage grew in her. But by the time she realized that I had deliberately snatched the piece from her to ask her name, I was gone.

 Luckily my instinct for self-preservation was there.

***

The next time we met was at the same bar about a week after the hand incident.

 As I walked into the bar, I saw her sitting back in the spot where I usually hung out. “That's a sign,” I thought as I squeezed my way to the bar through a layer of drunk people.

-Tommy darling, hello there-” I sent the bartender an air kiss, ”I have a life and death question for you.

 The bartender laughed softly and walked over to me. Having a man behind the bar was a plus. He's a drinking buddy, a friend, an informant.

-I'm listening. - He said in a humble voice, leaning toward me so he could hear me better.

-Remember what a girl named Sevika usually orders? - I made the most pleading eyes I could and folded my fingers crosswise.

-I remember. -What is it?

-Tommy, you're my savior! - I jumped up and down and clapped my hands together - Make it my usual and add Sevika's order to the bill.

 He smiled suspiciously, but didn't ask anything, just went off to make drinks, muttering something to himself and shaking his head.

 -He handed the drinks to me, but as soon as I reached for them, he pulled them back to him, forcing me to look at him. “But be warned, she might hit you, so don't get too excited.

- Don't worry, it'll be fine,” I put the money on the bar, took the drinks and went to the girl. - “I love you,” I whispered with just my lips to him.

-Darling, what a reunion.

 I happily walked over to the girl and placed the mug with her drink beside her and sat down on the chair across from her again.

- You again? - she frowned and looked at me unhappily.

- Me again. Did you miss me? - I took a sip from my glass and nodded toward her, “Help yourself.

- What if you poison me? No thanks,” she pushed away the drink I'd brought her.

- Hey, I bought it for you. Do you want me to sip it? - I pouted my lips and stared naively into her eyes.

- No.” She cut me off and got up from the table.

 I turned my head to see where she was going. Sevika was leaving the bar. I rolled my eyes and clucked my tongue as I sipped my drink again, staring unhappily at the mug I'd brought for her.

 I stared at the glass for about ten minutes, and finally, unable to stand it, I slammed my foot down on the table, and the drink fell to the floor, spilling over.

 This drinking scheme always worked, so why did this girl refuse? I sighed heavily and got up from the table, heading home. I wasn't in the mood anymore.

***

The next time we crossed paths was late at night. I was coming home from a bar when Sevika and some blue-haired girl came out of the fog to meet me.

- Sevika dear, what meeting? - I smiled drunkenly and saluted her with my hand - Going to the bar with your girlfriend?

- She's not my girlfriend - the girl with blue hair snorted and ran forward behind my back, seemingly not wanting to see anyone at all.

-I stretched out and looked into Sevika's eyes. - This is the third time we've seen each other, how many more times do we have to see each other before she'll finally talk to me?

 I heard a quiet laugh. And the girl walked over to me, towering over me. And I was a little surprised at her size, she was taller than me by almost a whole head.

- Are you trying to intimidate me with your body? - I laughed when I saw her surprised squint, “You're not succeeding. So far I've only gotten aroused

 Sevika stepped away from me abruptly, going behind my back. To which I laughed out loud.

- See you later, sweetheart.

***

The next seven meetings were insanely monotonous. I bought her alcohol, she sent me away and left. The only thing that made them different was that in the last few, she started taking the drinks with her and leaving not from the bar, but to the second floor, where Silko's office was.

 And I thought that was a green light and started running into the bar more often, leaving flowers and candy at Tommy's. I knew she was picking them up. I didn't know if she was keeping it all for herself or giving it to someone else.

***

One Friday night, I bought drinks for the two of us again and sat down at her table.

- I was more excited than usual this time, and I felt like I was close to getting Sevika to talk to me.

- I'm already having nightmares about you - she rubbed her face with her hands and looked at me.

- Oh, so you're dreaming about me, interesting,” I smiled softly at her, waiting for her to take her drink and go upstairs.

 But instead she took a sip of alcohol and leaned back in her chair.

- You're not even going to run away from me? - I smiled mischievously, tilting my head sideways to look at the girl.

- You can't run away from me, you're not going to eat until I talk to you. So I'm sitting here in front of you, ask me anything you want.

- Oh, so you think you'll fuck off if you talk to me? - I giggled and tossed my hair back,” What's your favorite color?

 I saw a shadow of incomprehension run across her face, as if I had asked something insanely weird.

-What?” her arched eyebrow and surprised look made me laugh, and I burst out laughing.

-What? -I asked something personal? My maroon.

-Black. Why would you ask that?

- Because I'm curious. I put my hands on the table. Did you like the flowers I gave you?

- I gave them to Jinx.” She averted her eyes and looked behind me.

- First of all, you're lying,” I smirked, running my finger along the rim of the glass, ”and second of all, who is Jinx, your girlfriend or your girlfriend's girlfriend?

- My headache,” she rolled her eyes and sipped her drink, trying to hide her nervousness.

- Well, you've already admitted you're lying to me. So how about some flowers?  I tried to pick ones you might like.

- Pretty ones, Sevika said, why did you bring them?

- I was trying to get you to like me. All girls like to receive flowers. There are women who don't like flowers in general, but in any case even they like to receive bouquets. It's an act of consideration, but for some reason you're trying to prove me wrong. Why?

-Listen, you're wasting your time, I'm not interested in you or your attention. - Sevika flared up, and with a sharp swing of her arms, threw her drink off the table.

-Are you sure?

-Sure.

-Strange, -I stood up from the table, picked up the mug and, putting it on the table in front of Sevika, leaned over to her face. - After all, when a person is not interesting - courtship is not accepted. And you accepted, and drinks, and bouquets, and sweets, and all sorts of trinkets. All right, I'll leave you alone, dearie. But I have to try one last time. Come here tomorrow at 7:00 if you still want to go out with me. I'll be waiting, Sevika.

 Wiggling my hips, I left the bar. I knew I'd done a bad thing by manipulating her. But without it, I'd be running around like a puppy for a couple more months.

***

At seven o'clock that night, I was sitting at her table like a bayonet. Impatiently glancing at the time, snapping my fingers and glaring at everyone who entered the bar. With each passing minute, I doubted more and more that she was coming. So when it was 7:15 on the clock, I got up from the table.

 Pulling up the skirt I'd put on for her. I couldn't believe that she really didn't care about me and was accepting my advances, just because she was bored. I felt sick to my stomach about her blowing me off, I guess I was just imagining things.

 I looked up and saw her on the stairs leading up to the second stairwell. It wasn't clear if she was going up or down, so I just stared at her, waiting for her to move on. A couple seconds later, I saw her heading up the stairs at a brisk pace. I smirked, grabbed my bag from the chair, and walked outside.

 I crouched down on the curb and pressed my lips together, watching the passersby. And as luck would have it, there were only couples on the street. I bent my legs at the knees, put my hands on them, and hid my head in them, wishing I could just vaporize. “How could I screw up so badly, and fall in love with a girl I've only had a normal conversation with once...”

 I felt a jacket being placed on my shoulders. I instantly boiled up, why the fuck am I being touched when I'm in such a fucked up mood. I felt like I was going to punch the bastard in the face if he didn't get off my back right away.

- What am I, a fucking hanger?! - I exclaimed, turning my head back sharply, rage on my face, anger inside me. But that was until I saw who was standing in front of me.

 Sevika. So beautiful. Wearing a beautiful, seemingly new black shirt with the first two buttons undone. Her hair was in a fresh bun for once, not sticking out in all directions, and she was holding a small bouquet of burgundy roses.

- I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was you. - I stood up from the curb and fixed my skirt. - So does that mean you're okay to go out with me, or okay, but not with me? - I tilted my head to the side and adjusted her jacket.

 - I do. With you - she held out the bouquet to me and as I accepted it, I breathed in the scent of the flowers - You said you liked that you liked burgundy, so I... Um....

- Thank you, it's my pleasure - I interrupted her, seeing the girl's awkwardness - I was already thinking that you really aren't attracted to me.

- You're not good at thinking, Sophie dear, leave it to someone like me - the girl turned me away from the bar and put her hand on my back and gently nudged me to go.

-Wow, so I had to yell at you once to get you to start flirting with me? - I pouted my lips, turning my head toward her. -You could have told me that earlier.

- Yeah, like you said, I like it rough.

 I laughed, my laugh mingling with hers, husky and chesty. And I swear it's the best thing I've ever heard in my life.

[stylesluxx]

all of the girls you loved before – a. hotchner

[warnings: none]

summary: in which y/n is grateful for aaron's experiences – inspired by all of the girls you loved before by taylor swift

word count: 773

main masterlist

You've heard the stories before, the whispered mentions of the women that had come before you. Each one left a mark on him, a trace you sometimes wondered if you could see in the way he moved, the way he held you when you felt his steady hands against your back. Aaron Hotchner didn't often talk about them, but in the quiet moments, their presence lingered like a ghost in the room, a history you couldn't touch but could feel.

It wasn't jealousy, exactly. It was more the weight of knowing you weren't his first love, that he had lived entire lifetimes before you. Maybe you'd catch him staring off into the distance, his jaw tight as memories flickered across his face. You never pried, though the questions sometimes bubbled at the back of your throat. He would have told you if he wanted to, you reminded yourself.

But tonight was different. Tonight, something between you shifted.

You were sitting together on the porch, the soft hum of autumn night air around you, the distant sounds of traffic on the street below a low murmur. The team was away on a case, but for once, he wasn't. He had stayed behind, citing exhaustion, though you knew it wasn't just about fatigue. He needed time. Space. And you were here for him, silently offering the support he rarely let himself ask for.

Aaron sipped his drink, his fingers grazing the glass as he looked out into the darkened sky. You followed his gaze, wondering where his mind had drifted this time. His silence wasn't unusual, but there was a tension tonight that made the air between you feel thicker than usual. Finally, he spoke, his voice soft, like he wasn't sure he was ready for the words.

"I don't think I've ever told you about Haley."

His ex-wife. You'd heard her name before, of course, but he rarely mentioned her. Even now, years after her death, the grief still hung in his eyes when he did. You turned slightly, giving him your full attention, heart tightening as you prepared yourself for whatever he needed to say.

"She was... everything to me. For a long time." He let out a breath, his thumb tracing the rim of his glass. "And when I lost her, I didn't think I could feel that way again. About anyone."

You didn't speak, just listened, knowing this wasn't something you could fix. This was something he had to let out, piece by piece.

"I wasn't looking for this, for us." His eyes met yours, and for a moment, the world stopped turning. "But somehow, you're here."

He shifted, setting his drink aside and taking your hand in his. His fingers were warm against yours, grounding you as his gaze softened, the weight of years of pain and love swirling in his eyes.

"I used to think the past would always have this hold on me, that I'd never be able to let go of all the girls I loved before. But then I realized... they led me here. To you."

Your breath caught, the weight of his words pressing into your chest. You didn't need him to explain further. You knew what he meant—that every love, every loss, every heartbreak had shaped him into the man sitting beside you. And somehow, through all of it, he had found his way to you.

He squeezed your hand, a silent reassurance that he was here, with you, now.

"I don't regret any of it," he continued, his voice quieter now. "Because without it, I wouldn't have you. And that's something I wouldn't trade for anything."

The tears welled in your eyes before you could stop them, the emotion of his confession wrapping around your heart. You'd always known there was a part of him that would forever belong to the past, to Haley, to the life he had before. But now, hearing him say it, you realized it wasn't about competing with those memories. It was about understanding that you were part of his story now, a chapter he hadn't expected but cherished all the same.

You leaned in, resting your head on his shoulder as he pulled you closer, the unspoken understanding settling between you. There was no need for more words, not tonight. You both knew that love wasn't about erasing the past—it was about accepting it, embracing it, and realizing that every step along the way had led to this moment.

And in that moment, you realized something too.

You were glad for all the girls he loved before, because without them, without everything he had been through, you might never have found your way to him.

And now that you had, you weren't going to let go.

[AN: oh hey... I think I'm going to do febuwhump to get out of my writing slump. I'll keep you guys updated. I also have a ko-fi account now??? no pressure but it's link in my navigation and here! and of course... my taglist. lmk your thoughts. love you byeee]

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Random Headcanons (Angst) (18+)

LTR!Leonardo x reader

A/N: I’m here with some more 18+ headcanons, to fill out the areas with little to no posts! This time it’s some Last Ronin with it’s signature angst and foreshadowing, because we are all addicted to the pain just to feel something!... Or maybe that’s the depression talking, idk. Anyway! Hope you’ll enjoy🖤

Reader and Leo are in their 20’s - 30’s.

Warnings: Mentioning of sex, mentioning of death of a family member, implied angst sex, TLR foreshadowing.

The best way you could describe Leo was focused and determined. Very little could push him from his goals and expectations he had put for himself. That is something that has stayed persistent throughout Leo’s life, and even made its way into you and Leo’s sex life. But though Leo always stayed focused and determined, he couldn’t help but let the world influence him from time to time. Only a cold being wouldn’t let the world do that, and Leo was far from cold to the world. He may not show it to the world, often facing it with a stone face, but he was a very emotional person, often feeling much more than you believed he had room for. And you got to feel it all from him.

When you first meet Leo, Shredder was still alive. But your relationship would go from friends to lovers shortly after Shredder’s death, with your first time together almost being a form of celebration. A celebration that the world now was safe for you two, and Leo finally felt safe enough to give it all to you, emotionally and physically. At that point in time, sex with Leo was very joyish and experimental. Smiles and laughs between passionate kisses, and many sleepless nights that left your legs numb.

But then Raph was killed, and that tore up something in all of Leo’s family. The period of celebration was over and a new war was brewing on the horizon. It changed many things in your lifes, and there was no way around the changes in your sex life. Sex became much more focused  and intense, as if Leo had a strong purpose whenever he thrusting into you at a firm and rapid pace, staring you deeply into your eyes. It was no longer just about bodily pleasures, but a need to make sure that both of you showed just how much you loved each other. You never knew what the next day would bring, and Leo wanted to make sure, that if any of these nights would be the last he would spend with you, then he would make it memorable, making it better than any night before that. It was one of Leo's many ways to show you, how you were his rock through this. He had no idea where he would find himself in this without you by his side.

There were times where Leo would find himself very stressed and fearful about the future. During these moments, it was just easier for him to show you how he was feeling instead of telling you. Leo’s body against yours could portray many emotions, that neither of you really had words to express. And at times you wondered what you would do, without Leo’s strong body and mind to help you through the dark times…

[darkleysgarden]

"Jason was the violent Robin!" Uhhhh, no!

Jason was different than every single other Robin for one huge reason. He didn't choose to be Robin. Obviously, he jumped at the opportunity. But, it wasn't the same as Stephanie already being a vigilante or Dick being set on revenge or Tim who just straight up begged for the mantle. Jason wasn't like that, he was asked.

Jason was a street rat who had recently watched his mother die because of her drug addiction, his father was a criminal who skipped (and he later found out had died because of that field of work).

And what Bruce saw was potential where Jason saw an opportunity to have someone to care for him. Jason gained this father figure, becoming the first child Bruce adopted.

And Jason was overjoyed. He was happy. More than any other Batman-Robin duo, they were father and son. Jason quickly started referring to Bruce as his father, Bruce calling Jason son. To the degree that they even used those titles when working as Batman and Robin.

So, Jason was an extremely happy Robin. But, that isn't the extent of it. Jason's childhood never really left him. His whole life he had to fight to live. Survival of the fittest. And if someone moves to hurt him, or anyone who can't protect themselves. He sees reason to become the fittest. To become a fighter that eliminates anyone praying on the weaker. Because he was once the weaker.

And that's where the Felipe storyline comes in. Felipe was a r*pist and Jason wanted justice for the women he had hurt. And this is the spot where people say they can see the signs. The signs that Jason would become a killer of killers. Bruce told Jason not to go after Felipe alone. He did anyway. And Bruce went after him. He saw Felipe fall off a balcony, dying upon impact. But, then, he saw Jason on that same balcony. Making Bruce wonder if he really fell, or if Jason had pushed him. Bruce knew they had different views. Bruce thought people could be scared into not acting again. Yet, Jason thought, "What about the ones who aren't afraid?"

Jason says little to defend himself. Just saying he must have spooked Felipe, causing him to fall. We never find out if that's the truth.

Bruce now worries that maybe Jason's past wouldn't allow him to become a Robin he could have at his side. Jason was forced to take a break from being Robin.

During his break, Jason returned to his old neighborhood in Crime Alley. A friend of his deceased mother stops him and explains that she had saved some of his important documents and photos for him. Jason took the box of belongings back home and went through them. A lot of it had been damaged by water. Including his birth certificate. As smudged as it was, he was able to realize that his mother was not his biological mother. After some detective work, he narrowed it down to three women that could most likely be his mom.

Now here's where I hate it when he is portrayed as reckless. When Jason ventures to the Middle East to try and find his mom, he and Bruce check in with each other many times. And Bruce was in the area too, searching for the Joker.

He finds his mother, Sheila, in Ethiopia. They get along well. Bruce was even there for their meeting. And when Bruce needs to return to Batman work, he leaves the two to catch up.

It's unfair when Jason is portrayed as reckless in this moment too. He didn't go after the Joker on his own. He talks with his mom instead. Assuming she would become a permanent part of his life, he confesses that he is Robin. It's then that Sheila admits something too. She had been working for Joker. The Joker shows up and near instantly he starts to beat Jason with a crowbar. Sheila turns around and smokes a cigarette.

When Jason is on the brink of death, Joker stops. And says he can leave no witnesses. He ties Sheila up and sets a bomb. Then Joker leaves them alone. And with the last bit of life in him, Jason struggles to free Sheila from her binds. Sheila attempts to get the door open to save the both of them, but she is too late. They both died from the explosion.

So, this is to say. I do think calling Jason the 'happy Robin' is far more accurate than the 'violent Robin.' And I think that because, as you can see, he was never really unnecessarily violent or reckless. And it should be recognized that even the more violent acts, like Felipe allegedly, were not premeditated or extremely out there. Jason didn't want to hurt people just to hurt them. In his eyes, he saw it less as hurting this one person, and more as protecting many. That will stick with him. Yet, it becomes much more prominent after his death with the trauma and such. However, entire new can of worms.

It's also important to see scenes like this, where Jason encourages Bruce not to kill Joker. As Robin, Jason never set out to kill. That came much later. And even later, he sticks to morals.

Also, listen to him!!! Modern DC content, please stop pretending Sheila wasn't there and just making Jason go after Joker on his own. You're messing up the story.

Jason always saw the world differently than Bruce. Yet, he hardly acted on it until he was shown just how cruel the world really is. When he became the weaker that needed to be protected, and wasn't. And now, as an antihero, his goal is to stop anyone else from ending up in his situation, even if it takes killing those at the top. Trolley problem. Killing one may save thousands.

[galaxymagitech]

A Passing Grade in Trust Issues

(Whumpuary 2025 - Day 5)

Summary:

“Do you trust me?” Bruce asks.

The answer is no, then it's yes, and then, after one betrayal too many, it's no again.

Characters: Tim Drake, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson

You can read it here or on AO3.

“Do you trust me?” Bruce asks.

The answer, of course, is no. Tim is training as Robin because he doesn’t trust Batman. But Tim is aware that this is a test, and in order to pass, he has to say yes, and in order to become Robin, he has to pass.

So, he steels his voice, holds the communicator close to his lips, and lies to Batman for the first time.

“Yes,” Tim says. “Of course I trust you.”

“Hn,” Bruce grunts. “Then turn off the comms and cowl stream. This conversation needs to be unmonitored.”

Tim’s hand hovers over the button. Turning off the comms would leave Batman without backup—as terrible of a backup as a half-trained Robin is. It’s horribly against procedure, and dangerous to boot. But—

But this is a test, and Tim intends to pass.

“Turning comms and stream off,” he says, and presses the button, watching the batcomputer screen go dark. Tim sits alone in the Batcave and waits.

***

“But don’t you trust them?” Tim wonders as he stares at Bruce’s contingency plans. He gets plans to take the Justice League down in case of mind control—it’s certainly a common enough problem—but Bruce has made predictions of his fellow heroes actions and then planned his own reactions to take them down. This isn’t about a mind-controlled Justice League. This is a series of plans to take down Bruce’s colleagues. His friends.

“No, Tim, I don’t.”

“But it’s Superman. And that’s Wonder Woman. And—”

“Trust is a weakness, Tim. We’re human. A single hit can take us out. All it takes is one moment where we let our guard down, and that’s it.” Bruce shakes his head. “Trust is what gets us killed.”

“Is that what…” Tim trails off, his gaze falling on Jason’s memorial case. “Okay, Bruce.”

***

“Do you trust me?”

Tim stands on the edge of the burning rooftop, looking at the long fall below him. Batman is nowhere in sight, off fighting Firefly a few blocks down.

Tim tries to trust Bruce. Ever since he’s become Robin, Bruce has always had his back. But it’s hard, when he’s so far above the ground and Bruce is asking him to—to jump. Tim doesn’t want to die, okay? He knew it might happen, but—he’s not going to literally jump to his death.

And yet, this is Batman asking. Batman always has a plan.

“Yes,” Tim says, and it’s not really a lie this time. “I trust you.”

He spreads his arms wide and takes a leap of faith.

Falling through the air, Tim closes his eyes and hopes that his thoughts don’t go blank. His heart races, and he knows the ground is getting closer, closer, clo—

Somebody’s arms wrap around Tim’s torso, jerking him into an upswing. Tim’s eyes snap open and he sees Dick smiling down at him. Oh, Tim thinks. So Bruce did have a plan. Really, Tim was dumb for even doubting in the first place. Bruce would never tell anyone to jump to their death. What was he even thinking?

“Sorry about that, Baby Bird,” Dick says as he deposits Tim on a nearby rooftop. Below, firefighters begin to extinguish the flames. “Firefly’s got a hacker on our comm frequencies, and B couldn’t tip him off that I’m in town.”

“Right,” Tim says, feeling like an idiot. Next time, he won’t make the mistake of questioning Batman’s judgement.

***

“But I trust them!” Tim protests. “They’re literally superheroes.”

“This is not a discussion,” Bruce says harshly. Tim winces. “Your secret identity is your life, and you must guard it like such.”

“Then just one of them, at least,” Tim says. “You can even choose which one. Please, Bruce. Can’t someonemy age know? Dick had the Ti—”

“The Titans were a mistake.”

Tim’s eyes widen. “What?”

“Dick is too trusting. He should never have revealed his identity to them. It put him in terrible danger—that Markov girl could have done so much damage.” Bruce shakes his head. “I thought better of you, Robin.”

“I—”

“No,” Bruce says. “I’m disappointed that you even suggested this, let alone continued arguing. You barelyknow those children. It’s ridiculous to trust them.”

Tim wilts under the force of Bruce’s glare. “Okay, B.”

“It’s for your own good,” Bruce says.

Tim’s team members don’t even know his name, and Ives and Zoanne don’t know that he’s Robin. He has two sets of friends, but he’s more alone than ever.

And yet, Bruce is the expert on secret identities. If he says not to tell, Tim won’t tell. He trusts Bruce.

***

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” Tim says, without hesitation, without doubt. He is Robin, and this is Batman.

“Then don’t tell Dick about this. I can’t have him interfering in this case.”

Tim doesn’t understand. Dick—Dick deserves to know. This is about his weird archenemy, after all. But, well… “Alright, B,” Tim says.

Three days later, and an injured Dick and an extremely frustrated Bruce are having their monthly screaming match. Tim sits in the corner of the Batcave and tries to ignore it. He could go upstairs, could put on headphones, could do any number of things to keep from hearing the words they’re hurling at each other. But he has to know what they’re saying. He caused this, after all.

(Dick isn’t angry at Tim. He doesn’t even know Tim was in on the secret. But Tim is guilty nevertheless. Dick is hurt because of him.)

***

“Question everything,” Bruce says.

When does it end? Tim thinks.

Bruce says this was training. Says that it’s a good thing Tim questioned the character of his friends, questioned his own memories.

This isn’t training.

When does training go too far? Tim wonders. How’s that for a question, Bruce?

***

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes.” Tim doesn’t allow himself to think about the question.

“Then don’t follow me.”

Tim follows Bruce anyway and ends up saving his life.

Bruce lectures him for not following orders.

***

“Trust is the enemy,” Bruce says, as Tim sits on the medical cot, shivering. The chills alternate with an unnatural warmth that feels like it’ll burn him up from the inside. “You need to learn to doubt your senses.”

Tim’s teeth chatter. Whatever Ivy and Crane cooked up together really sucks, even with the antidotes. “’m not in the mood for a l’cture, B,” Tim says, tugging on his blanket and trying to cover himself entirely with it.

“You could have avoided that fall,” Bruce says. “You knew you were hallucinating, but you still trusted that the ground was where it seemed—”

“Stop,” Tim says, closing his eyes. Every inch of him feels unbearably cold. “Just stop. I get it.”

“Do you?” Bruce asks. “Because you keep making this mistake, Tim. You could have died.”

“I know,” Tim says. “I know, B. I know.”

(And he does think he knows, this time. Because sitting here, shivering in the well-heated room with Bruce sitting next to him, he feels utterly alone.)

***

“Do you trust me?” Bruce asks.

Bruce had wanted Tim to stop trusting, is the thing. He’d pushed and pushed and pushed, all because he thought Tim was too trusting. 

To Bruce, trust is a weakness, a failing, an enemy. And now that he’s pressed that belief into Tim, well…

It’s wrong, it’s disrespectful, it’s horrible. Bruce was only trying to make Tim stronger. Bruce wants what’s best for him.

But you reap what you sow. So, Tim looks at Batman and can’t help but tell the truth.

“No,” Tim says, “I don’t.”

Instead of being angry, though, Bruce gives him an approving nod. “Good.”

Oh, Tim thinks. I finally passed the test.

[cookies-super-secret-blog]

Stagnation as Death: Slay the Princess: The Pristine Cut Analysis

“You are on a path in the woods. At the end of that path is a cabin, and in the basement of that cabin is a Princess. You are here to slay her. If you don’t, it will be the end of the world.” These are the first words spoken by the Narrator when entering the visual novel Slay the Princess.These words state your goal simply, and yet are wholly misleading about the depth of this story. Where a simple path is laid out before the player, the options both in defiance of and in service to that stated goal turn this game into a sprawling web of wonderful narratives in conversation with each other about change and death, life and stillness. 

Slay the Princess was released in 2023, with its long awaited Pristine Cut expansion added in October of 2024. This game is an interactive story with beautiful hand-drawn graphics by Abby Howard, and wonderful voice acting provided by Jonathan Sims and Nichole Goodnight. In its current form there are 24 different versions of the titular Princess for the player to encounter, each branching from actions the player can take. While each route and each variant of Princess are unique and complex in their own right, the Epilogue: Happily Ever After stands as one of the best vignettes in the game. However, to understand the impact of the Happily Ever After, one must first understand the Narrator. 

Not unlike most stories, the Narrator is a character. Unlike most games in this genre, however, this Narrator is not our player character. The Narrator, while only confined to the player character’s head, is a distinct entity with desires and goals. Specifically, to slay the Princess. However, if you manage to complete this impossible task, asking no questions and sparing no hesitation, our hero is met with a bleak reward. 

There is nothing outside the cabin now that you’ve slain her. The Narrator, as pictured above, tries to convince you that you’re happy. Here, in this lifeless cabin with naught but a table and a door to an endless void, you are told that you are happy. One of many little voices that join the greek chorus of your lead actor’s mind, the Voice of the Hero, suggests the only way out of this tiring monotony. To progress any further down this route, you must retrieve the blade from the decayed Princess’ corpse, and slay yourself with it.

This is not how you achieve the Happily Ever After, though this scene is important when it comes to understanding it. No, the Happily Ever After is a branch off of the Damsel, the variant of princess so harmless you didn’t need to bring the blade down with you to save her. When you rescue her again, you are met with the fact she does not have any interests aside from leaving the cabin, and pleasing you. Eventually, from prodding her about what she wants to the point of nearly unravelling her, the player is given a rather interesting option; tell her you want to stay in the cabin and be happy together.

 This conflict of interest makes the Damsel legitimately unhappy for the first time in the chapter, causing one of your voices, that of the Smitten, to panic. He sputters, “If we just made these walls fit for a princess, if we just say the right things, if we showed her the contents of our heart…” Jonathan Sims' performance of this line really sells the emotion of the scene. The way it starts panicked, before slowing into a cold, frightening resolve as Smitten realizes what he must do really sets in dread for what comes next. What’s next being, the Voice of the Smitten taking his own words literally, usurping control of your body, and wrenching your ribs apart. Quite literally showing her the contents of your collective heart.

The Princess plucks your heart from your chest, and the loop begins anew.

You are no longer on the path in the woods, instead your starting place is inside the cabin, which now appears as a chapel, or even a castle. The plush carpeted stairs go upward instead of down toward a basement. What used to be a prison is now a lavish dining hall, with tapestries and torches. At the far end of the long dining table, is the Princess, and the long shadow dancing behind her. This is much more insidious than the Narrator’s blunt insistence of the player’s happiness should you have slain her right away like he asked. Everything here is idyllic, and saccharine sweet. The Princess even prepared dinner for the player and his chorus. How sweet. However, a new voice in the back of the player character’s mind anxiously insists not all is right. The Voice of the Paranoid, as his title suggests, does not trust this happy ending laid out before you. In fact, he’s the one to point out that “a certain lovesick fool” is eerily quiet. With that knowledge, one might infer who exactly the Princess’ shadow truly is.

When the player meets this version of the Princess, she says in a fatigued affect; “Good. You’re here. Now we can start being happy together.” After which, the player is forced to sit across from the Princess, and the illusion ever so slightly begins to break down. 

“It’s trending down!” the Paranoid cries, and a torch sputters. To calm a now visibly frightened Princess, you suggest you both play a game. It, too, grows tiresome and stale all too quickly.

As the second torch dies, and the Princess soothes her shadow by insisting that she is. In fact, very happy, the Narrator mutters something simple:

Nicole Goodnight’s light and airy performance of this Princess makes the moments of her voice dropping into panic incredibly heartbreaking. Likewise, Jonathan Sim’s weak and beaten delivery of the line above is emotionally devastating to hear. This combined with the wonderful art, the composition of the table and the shadow looming over both her and the player. The beautiful yet hollow string instrumentation lending to this feeling of “too good to be true” that permeates this chapter. A chapter that culminates when the lights go out. The final torch sputters, and the shadow of the Smitten can force his hand no more. Should you choose to leave the cabin, you are met with no resistance from the Narrator. A vast departure from the first go around when he attempted to control your body and do the deed for you. As his voice fades, he wishes the player and Princess well on whatever world they will make. 

The Narrator, the one who set you upon this mission, is asking if you’re sure you want to kill her now. He gives you the chance to back out, and leave with the Princess together. The Hero questions him, asking “Isn’t this what you wanted to begin with?”, to which the Narrator states his uncertainty, and that he might have “made a terrible mistake.” If you press him on it further (with the opportunist in toe for the following dialogue), throw back at him how she’s a threat to the entire world, how she will end the world if not slain, he replies “See, that’s what I thought too.” With an almost teary crackle to his voice, as the Narrator has just witnessed a microcosm of the world he wanted to make. The world that necessitated the Princess be slain. 

This is the core of this route, of the discussion the game is having. The Princess is change, her appearance and demeanor changing with how you, the player, perceive her. In this case going from a relatively normal woman , to a doe-eyed damsel, to an emotionally fatigued queen. In contrast, a world without her is stagnant. Unchanging, as the fabric of the Long Quiet. While the Princess is change, and by extent death, this route not only shows to the player, but to the Narrator, that there are fates much worse. When confronting the Princess in her true form, the face of the Happily Ever After you shared is brought to surface. Her argument to the player is as follows: “In a world without both of us, the flames could not go out, nor could they be lit again. Would you hold the world in place forever?” Holding the world in place is equivalent to killing it outright. The variations on this argument speak the same. "Would you put the world in that box and tell them they're happy?" It's the same as damning the world to an eventual death. Slay the Princess, Epilogue: Happily Ever After, shows this truth immaculately and artfully. 

[soniclozdplove]

Wukong came in shortly after the demon monkey left, confused at the utterly terrified expressions on his old friends' faces.

"What happened!?"

"Demon... shadows..." Was all a pale faced Tang could choke out, shaking as he cluched his shakujō tightly. Wukong blinked in confusion before realization struck, his eyes lighting up in recognition before shifting to annoyance.

"Oh! You met him, huh? Figures he wouldn't leave well enough alone."

"Who is that scary guy anyways!?" Baije asks, looking somewhere between pissed and terrified, "That freak just came in and threatened us, I thought you said this place would be safe!"

"Watch it!" Wukong growled at him, low and angry as he glared at Baije, "Macaque is many things, but I will not tolerate anyone but me insulting him!"

Tang Sanzang's most lazy disciple promptly shut his mouth with an audible click of teeth. Tang was quickly learning that this strange, mature version of Wukong was someone who is very protective of those he cares for, and will not allow any perceived threat or insult to them to exist. Considering the boastful nature of the monkey he knows, he has to wonder. Was this change caused by age and many centuries of change? Or was this something his own Wukong was capable of? It's something to consider for when they return to their own time. If they return.

How quickly he went from being annoyed at the presence of the other monkey to defending him speaks leagues about the two as well, especially considering the threats Macaque had spoken of before he'd left. The two had to have a close bond, to defend each other in the same breath they'd insult each other. Tang cleared his throat, prepared to mediate.

"I would like to know more about this Macaque, character. Zu Baije was not wrong when he said he spoke to up in a threatening manner in regards to how he sees us and your safety only to leave when he sensed your approach."

Wukong frowned, grumbling something to himself that almost sounded like "overprotective, jealous bastard" before heaving a heavy sigh and looking him in the eye,

"Macaque is just jealous. He's worried that your presence in our... in my life again will cause a rift."

"How would we cause some sort of rift between you!?" Ao Lie asked, wringing his hands worriedly, "When you, uh... the younger you, told me about him, you seemed like you were close!"

"It's... complicated." Wukong looked down, a conflicted expression on his face as he sank into the couch next to them, hands clenched together as he stared at them, "Not something I'd like to get into. Let's just say, me and Macaque had a falling out of sorts during the Journey, and Macaque has gotten it into his head that you are to blame. You appearing here and now, as you are, is very ill timing."

It occurred to Tang, as he watched his eldest student seem to go through a form of heartbreak as he spoke of his friend, that this is the first time he'd ever seen Sun Wukong be vulnerable and open about his feelings. He seemed... small. A strange thing to consider for him, when just a few days earlier he had seen a much younger Wukong bludgeoning several demons to death. Just as quickly the moment passed, Wukong perking up as he seemed to remember something.

"Oh! Right. MK wanted to do some training earlier. He wanted to know if you wanted to watch, it's just some small sparring between the two of us, maybe a bit of meditation, nothing special."

"Sparring?" Tang blinked, feeling apprehensive. Sparring implies violence. Does Wukong teach his student violent lessons?

"I mean, yeah." Wukong shrugged, "Mercy is a virtue, but one can not simply just go through life without learning to defend themselves. Especially when you're a demon! Even now, there are those who would attack a demon simply for existing in peace. Never mind back in the Tang era where they'd be forced to hide in caves, rivers, and forests to escape persecution. You all should know this!"

[sowrennie]

Okay so I’m currently in Love and Deepspace hell and now it’s everyone’s problem. I may not entirely ever understand what’s going on, but that’s okay I’m still going to give my two cents on what Caleb may bring to the table. Please correct me if I’m wrong😭

LOVE AND DEEPSPACE MAINSTORY SPOILERS AHEAD!

1. Ties to EVER

Hear me out here. I know this is a common speculation but I want to delve into it and lay out the facts where I can see them. We kind of know what EVER’s goal is, we also— according to the notes we collect— know where their investments lie. They play a dominant role in biotechnological developments, aerospace, Evol energy, and international trade. We also know that Caleb works as a fighter pilot for the Deepspace Aviation Administration. He attended the Aerospace Academy in Skyhaven: an artificial floating island above Linkon. From what I gather, Skyhaven is powered by a protocore— and EVER is known for their involvement and use of protocores in modification/advancement. With what is made known to us it’s safe to conclude that Caleb is an affiliate. It’s hard to say whether or not he knows about the aether core, assuming he does though, he knows that upon the experiments— MC is basically immortal. She would be an asset to their research, and goal of extending lives. I wonder if Caleb feeds them this information, but at the same time— I’m just… not fully sure, seeing his particular niche and all. It does feel like they have their eyes on mc, though… I don’t entirely remember, but in awaited revelry, doesn’t Sylus imply that Josephine and Caleb have malicious intentions…? That being said—

2. Caleb’s return..?

I have a speculation that, like many cases we see (albeit some failed ones), he’ll be resuscitated via protocore; EVER can’t lose a valuable asset, after all. It fits thematically, and can further establish Caleb’s character as a character foil to Zayne (who despite his regrets, feels that death is a necessary part of the human existence.) An apple a day keeps the doctor away and all! This is the first ML we know that actively has interacted with another, and I genuinely can’t wait for what this means for Zayne’s story, even if EVER isn’t behind Caleb’s heavily implied return. He’s still facing what should be a dead man, and ugh. I KNOW his emotions are going to pile up. Staring directly at the Mt. Eternal anecdote. This could be a stretch, but— Carter, Xander Sciences trying to rope Zayne into their projects over and over— MC is the perfect bait, and bringing Caleb back may establish MC’s direct involvement and have Zayne be enticed by proxy. Caleb does play the role of the forbidden (potentially), and this could be how that motif comes into play.

3. Snake Motif…

Okay so I have yet to do my research on this entirely, but like— I just think it’s so interesting that they released Sylus during the year of the Dragon, and then potentially Caleb, during the year of the Snake. That aside, though— the clear biblical connection between the snake and the apple and potentially being that lure— what snakes generally symbolize (mystery, deceit…), and I saw this floating around somewhere, but apparently in CN he calls the MC ‘little tail’? I’m so interested in what this could mean symbolically with all his apparent affiliations, buuut that’s for us to see.

I’m looking forward to that livestream and tbh idk if anything here made sense but I’m so normal about this game (even if I likeee barely understand it.) What are you going to do Caleb. What’s happening. I know this is different from what I usually post here but I NEEDED to yap or else I might go insane idk

What are you hiding.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Broken Bonds-Part 24

Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader, Jay Halstead x Reader

Mouse gets ready to head to Georgia for marshal training while you try to find a balance with Jay

Tuesday morning you weren’t sure how you would’ve managed getting up and facing the day if you hadn’t rolled over to Stella fast asleep in the bed next to you. Kelly had gone and retrieved  her overnight bag and uniform without question when she’d told him to, the only thing he’d said when he came back to drop it off was when he pulled you into a hug and reminded you “No matter what I’m backing you just as much as I back Stella. You became my sister the day I married her”

At the moment you felt so alone in your damn head but you knew you weren’t. Even taking Mouse or Jay out of the equation you were so far from alone. The idea of Mouse leaving in two short days had your heart twisting. You knew it was for training, you knew he had to go and that he’d talk to you as much as he could and that he’d fly back whenever he could but what if he decided you’d put him through enough?

Stella had given you a recap of dinner once you calmed down, she told you all about her conversation with Mouse. “That man..honeybee it would take death to keep him from coming home to you and even then they better make sure they dig a little deeper than usual if they don’t want him trying to find a way back”

You believed her, you knew Mouse loved you just as much as you loved him but every bad thought about yourself was circling like vultures waiting to feast on the carcass of your psyche.

“Honeybee” you cut your eyes up to see Stella was awake and staring at you with a small smile. “I’m ok Stel” you promised and she shook her head, reaching a hand up to push your hair back from your face “No, you’re not. I can see that brain of yours overthinking. I can’t let you walk into the twenty first if your mind isn’t in the moment. It’s dangerous babe. I need you in one piece, Addy needs you in one piece and like it or not there’s two former army rangers who very well may burn Chicago to ash if something happens to you”

You shook your head “I’d never walk into anything if my mind isn’t in the moment. I wouldn’t risk it on Addy’s sake alone” she nodded “Good, I’m still texting Hailey. I won’t tell her what’s going on but I will tell her to keep an eye on you” you laughed lightly “The men hurt me so you’re calling in wifey?” she grinned “Exactly. Now let’s get up and get dressed. We got enough time I can buy you and baby girl breakfast before we meet Jay for drop off”

You nodded “Sounds good” and tossed the blanket off of you both. She laughed, poking at your hair “And I’ll put a braid in this cause it looks a little rough” 

Addy was doing her best to sing along with the radio along with you and Stella as you pulled into the daycare parking lot. The babbling was the most adorable thing you’d ever heard and just what your heart needed. “There’s Jay” Stella said and you cut your eyes up to see he was leaning against the side of his truck and there was an empty space next to him.

You took a deep breath as you pulled into the space and parked. “I’ll be right back” you told Stella who nodded “I’ll be right here if you need me” You got out and started to walk around to Addy’s door so Jay pushed off his truck to walk towards you “Morning” you greeted and he nodded “morning”

You opened her door and leaned in with a smile “Hey baby girl, look its daddy” “Where’s my sweet girl?” he spoke and her feet started kicking along with her babbling da. “Dada is gonna be first” he said and you shook your head “Nope, mama is first” 

You unbuckled her and ran your fingers over the little braid Stella had put in her hair after she’d done yours. “Morning Jay” Stella called, looking over her shoulder. He nodded “Morning Stella” he cut his eyes at you and you knew he was probably wondering why you’d bought your big sister to drop off.

You put her on your hip then nodded to him “Grab her bag?” He picked up her diaper bag and told Stella bye before closing the door and following you across the parking lot.

“So, you need an escort to drop our daughter off?” he asked in a voice that was barely above a whisper. You shook your head “Jay, please. Can we sign her in first?” He opened the door and held it open for you to duck under his arm. 

You walked in with Addy and spotted Chloe. “Look baby! It’s Mrs Cruz!” Addy started reaching for her and Chloe smiled “My favorite little detective” “Don’t let Stel or Kelly hear that. They’re determined for her to be a smoke eater” you laughed and she shook her head “Both her parents are detectives. I’d say that’s a better chance” 

You handed Addy over and pressed a kiss to her head “I love you baby” then Jay pressed a kiss to her head and handed Chloe the diaper bag. “Who's doing pickup?” she asked and you raised a hand “It’ll probably be me unless Stel has to come for any reason but if anything changes we’ll text” “Ok. Have a good day and stay safe”

“Thank you ma’am” you told her with a smile. Jay thanked her too and you both headed out. The moment you stepped out the door you turned to look at Jay “Stella came over last night. I was upset, she didn’t want to leave me alone so she stayed. I’m taking her to work then coming in. Didn’t realize I had to report my sister staying with me”

His shoulders dropped “Look, I’m sorry. Ok? I’m not trying to be an ass here” you cut your eyes at your jeep and saw that Stella was watching the two of you, of course she was. She was ready to intervene. You turned your attention back to Jay. The dark circles under his eyes probably matched your own “I know Jay but we have to figure this out, for our daughter and our unit. We have a lot of people who need us to get along, so much has happened and I know you don’t believe it but I do love you” he nodded slowly “Just not like you love him” you looked away from him, blinking fast to not let any tears fall “Would you have rather me lied to you? To tell you I didn’t feel the way I feel about him?” 

“I would’ve rather you at least broke things off with us before you fucked him” You weren’t sure what signaled Stella but she was out of the jeep and to your side before anything else could be said. Her arm slipped around your shoulders and she stared Jay down “Ok kids, back to your corners. For one you’re in front of your daughter's daycare. Remember her? My niece, an adorable little thing. Both of your entire reasons for breathing?”

You and Jay both nodded so she smiled, waving at a parent that walked by “For two, you’re detectives with the CPD. Professionals in the same unit.Bury this so neither of you have to face your daughter one day and explain why the other isn’t here. This is an off the clock thing, agreed?” “Agreed” “Agreed” you and Jay both said.

She nodded “Jay, you’re hurt I get it but man she’s my sister. Don’t cross a line” he nodded “Sorry Stella” she cut her eyes at you “And honeybee he has a right to be hurt as long as he doesn’t cross that line, agreed?” you nodded so she squeezed your shoulder and looked at Jay “She’s gonna take me to work then be in. Let Kevin know?” “I will” he promised so she turned you towards your jeep, basically pushing you in front of her.

_____________

She put you in the driver’s seat then walked around and got into the passenger seat. She reached for your phone as you pulled out onto the road. You cut your eyes at her “What are you doing?” “Seeing if Mouse can meet you for lunch or after work. I’ll watch Addy” “Stel..” you started and she shook her head “You need to talk to him..you need someone who isn’t slapping guilt layer by layer on you. Don’t get me wrong. I fucking love Jay. He has been so damn amazing but he is too hurt to see past that right now and I understand his pain but my concern is not his pain as harsh as that sounds. My job is you”

Your phone chimed a few seconds later and she smiled “Should’ve known” when you got to a red light she showed you the text that read Tell her to just let me know when and where. I’ll be there 

______________

After you dropped Stella off (and had to go in so Kelly could see for himself you were in a better headspace than the night before) you headed for the precinct. Kevin had already texted to let you know he grabbed you  a coffee and Hailey had texted Stella was vague but I got Jay, don’t stress it wifey 

Leave it up to Stella to not only command her team on the truck but end up commanding half of intelligence as well. You pulled into the parking lot intelligence used and was thankful there was an empty space next to Adam’s car. That meant you didn’t have to park next to Jay.

You took a deep breath before grabbing what you needed and heading for the rear entrance all of you used when you didn’t want to bother with the front desk. You went through roll up, typing your code and sliping in before the door opened all the way then hitting the button to close it before going up the stairs. You’d texted Kevin to let him know you were coming in the back way and so he could make sure everyone else knew.

You opened the door that led into the back hallway and laughed when Adam jumped “Holy hell Kidd. Give me a heart attack, how bout it?” you grinned “Sorry Ruz. I told Kev I was coming in that way”  Kevin stepped around the corner carrying a cup of coffee that he held out to you before grinning “Yeah I didn’t tell him because Kim made a bet that he squeals when he gets spooked” 

You shook your head at them teasing each other “You two are worse than me and Stella, I swear” Adam shook his head “Hell no. Kevin would never be as scary about me as that woman is over you and I’ve seen you beat her ex to the point your hands were bandaged for days” you shrugged “He hit her. He deserved it”

_____________

Kevin winked at you “The kidd women are an entirely different breed and little miss Adeline is a new generation” “You know it” you laughed before following Kevin out into the bullpen.

You walked around the corner and your eyes automatically landed on Jay’s desk. “Those two went to talk to a new witness from that shooting last week,” Kevin explained. You nodded “Good, maybe we can pick that case up and actually get somewhere with it” 

You cut your eyes at Kim and grinned “He squealed like a mouse” she cracked up laughing and pointed at Kevin “I told you!” 

____________

You were sitting on top of Hailey’s desk while you and her went through surveillance videos, trying to find the suspect that the witness had picked out of the line up. She had her head resting over on your thigh as you flipped through the videos.

“What’s up with you and Jay?” she asked in a whisper, even though everyone else was busy or in another part of the building. You cut your eyes at her and shrugged “How much do you want to know being his partner and my wife?” she grinned “Hey, I loved you first. Just remember that”

You sighed and decided to keep it simple and vague so as to not embarrass Jay on top of hurting him. “I hurt him pretty bad with a choice I made but I was listening to my heart with the choice and trying to spare his in the long run”

You stared at you for a moment then nodded “If you were listening to your heart it wasn’t wrong” She laid her head back over and started back on the videos. How the hell did Hailey make you feel better with ten words?

Your phone chimed and you cut your eyes at the time, cursing under your breath before you picked it up and read the text from Mouse Can I take you to Dinner? You bit your cheek to keep from smiling before texting back Stella already said she’d stay with Addy so pick me up at seven? He texted back almost immediately See you then

Jay walked in just as you were laying your phone down and raised his eyebrows at how you and Hailey were sitting “You two find anything or just gonna cuddle?” you shrugged “I mean she is pretty comfortable” and he shook his head but you saw the slightest tease of a grin pulling at his face, oh so that Jay was still in there.

“I think we just got something” Hailey interrupted, clicking to freeze the screen before turning it around so you and Jay could see it. Perfect footage of the shooter’s face and the crime itself from the security camera the witness had helped to uncover. You cut your eyes up at Jay “This alone is enough for an arrest warrant” he nodded “I’ll tell Voight. Get Kim, Kev and Ruz up here”

_______________

“CPD FREEZE” you called out and of course the asshole always chooses to aim for one of the female detectives. This time however he aimed for Hailey. One round caught her in the vest then yours and Jay’s bullets landed in tandem, his body dropping hard to the ground. 

You and Jay both ran to her side, your hands skimming over each other’s trying to get her vest off “I got it Jay!” you argued and he rocked back on his heels and nodded. You quickly undid her vest and pulled it off her body, examining where the bullet had struck. It hadn’t gone through but the chances of something internally being hurt was too high to risk. 

“Do we need a bus?” he asked and you shook your head “Hails you good with Jay just taking you to med?” she nodded, taking your hand to get to her feet “Yeah” you looked back at Jay “Take care of her” “I will” he promised so you transferred her hand into his.

Voight called you over and looked to where the suspect was laid out “Write it up Kidd. There’s no way this isn’t deemed a clean shoot. You and Jay acted in clear protection of a member of your unit”

“Yes sir” you replied and nodded to Kevin “Let’s get back, this is crime scene techs job now”

__________________

You were just finishing up the report when Jay and Hailey walked back up the stairs “How’s the patient?” you asked Jay who looked back at her with a smirk “She was very brave, I even got her a lolly pop” you shook your head thinking he was being sarcastic but Hailey pulled out one of those giant rainbow lolly pops from her jacket pocket and grinned “No, he really did”

You covered your mouth with your hand as you laughed “That is fucking adorable” Jay winked at her “Well she didn’t try to headbutt anyone so that’s better than when Addy got her shots”

“Who taught her to headbutt?” you asked and he grinned “Will, it was definitely Will” Hailey shook her head and nudged Jay with her shoulder “You’re not that bad Halstead, may be hope for you yet” then winked at you “and as for you I just need your ring size and we’re hitting vegas” 

You held up the report “Well Jay, you wanna sign off on this? Then we’re done with this case?” he nodded “Gladly” so far the two of you had held to your promise to Stella. Any issues got laid down at the door. He signed the report then nodded “Thanks” “Of course” you replied with a smile then cut your eyes at the clock “I gotta go soon so I can get Addy”

________________

You were walking through the parking lot to your jeep and heard Jay calling your name. You took a deep breath and turned around “Please tell me we’re not picking up the argument” you let your eyes focus on the pendant that had slipped out of his shirt “No, I promise”

“What’s wrong Jay?” you asked and he smiled slightly “I was just wondering if I could get her tomorrow night, if that’s ok” you nodded “Of course. She’s your daughter too. Why don’t we get a coffee after drop off in the morning and try to make some sort of schedule? I hate this you feeling like you have to ask to have your daughter for a night”

“Ok, sounds good” he agreed so you smiled “Night Jay” his eyes flickered from yours down to your lips then back up before he swallowed hard “Night sweetheart”

_____________

You were getting dressed to go to dinner with Mouse but a song came on the radio you knew Addy loved so you scooped her up onto your hip. You started singing along as the two of you danced around the room, her laughter wrapping around you.

You heard a knock at the door and knew it was Stella so you slid around the corner, opening the door but not stopping the dance. She stepped in and grinned at the sight that met her “Well this is a gorgeous sight indeed compared to last night” “It really is” Kelly laughed from behind her.

You turned to face your sister and brother in law. “She loves that song” Stella shrugged “Hey to see you happy? Anything works” 

You laughed, still swaying Addy gently as the music changed. Kelly held his hands out “C’mere Addy. Let uncle Kel have a dance” she nearly dove into his arms causing you and Stella to both laugh. 

The two of them headed to the kitchen, something about changing the station while you and Stella talked about the case you’d caught that day. “Was Hailey ok?” you nodded “Yeah, thankfully she didn’t even have bruised ribs” “I’d hate for you to lose your wife” she teased and you grinned “I know”

___________

You heard another knock at the door and didn’t try to stop the smile that spread across your face. She laughed “That’s Mouse” you nodded and went to open the door. He was standing there and smiled when he saw you “Hey” “Hey”

“Hey Mouse” Stella called followed by Kelly calling out “Sup man?” and Addy giggling at something Kelly had done in the kitchen. Mouse cut his eys in the kitchen at her and smiled “Damn she looks so much like you and like Jay” Stella grinned “It’s weird right? You can pick out what’s her and what’s him but it blends so well on her” Mouse nodded “Yeah. She’s beautiful”

You laughed “Well props to the chef” and they both gave you looks that mirrored each other. “Honeybee” Stella laughed and Mouse shook his head “Really sweetheart?” you rolled your eyes “It was funny. Right Kel?” “Course” he agreed and you shrugged “Let’s go before you two pick apart my sense of humor any further”

Stella grinned “Have fun. I got baby girl so don���t worry” Mouse reached for your hand so you let him take it feeling your heart flip when he squeezed it lightly. 

______________

“No no, listen baby that was not my fault!” you laughed. You were telling Mouse about a case that had resulted in a dog getting loose in Voight’s car. That had not ended well for anyone. He shook his head, tears in his eyes from how hard he’d been laughing “I wish I could’ve seen Voight’s face”

You shook your head “It was insane. You know how some of our cases get” he nodded “Yeah, believe me I was worried more than one day about something happening to you” you dropped your gaze to your hands, fidgeting with your ring and bracelet. “Hey, what’d I say?” he asked, clocking your mood shift immediately. “I’m scared of you leaving” you admitted in a whisper.

“What?” he asked and you shrugged, feeling tears spring to your eyes. He looked around before standing up “C’mon. We already paid, let's get out of here so we can talk” You let him pull you to your feet and the two of you walked out the door.

When the cool night air hit you he slipped his arm around your waist, pulling you into his side “Why are you scared of me leaving?” you kept your gaze down as you admitted “What if you decide I’ve put you through enough? Greg I’ve put your heart through the damned wringer love”

He stopped walking and turned to face you, one hand on your hip holding you in place while the other cupped the back of your neck to give you no other option but to look him in the eye “Baby please listen to me and listen good ok?” you nodded, feeling tears threaten your eyes. 

“I fell in love with you not long after I started working with the unit. The way you handled yourself, how you treated other people, the way you fought for what you believed in, how strong and capable your heart is. You are the most amazing woman I have ever met. If there has ever been anyone I believed was the one I was supposed to be with, it's you. I fucked up, god I fucked up so damn bad leaving but look at Adeline? That baby is perfect. I wouldn’t take her back for any pain I’ve endured. I tried the whole moving on thing, but it didn't work and that was when I was on the other side of the world and thought you’d never want me again. Why the hell would I be dumb enough to want someone else when I’m here, a couple hours away on a plane? Able to call you, text you?”

“But I’ve fucked up so much” you whispered and he smiled gently “Who hasn’t fucked up something every now and then love? Anything can be fixed, you could tell me you slept with Jay again and I still wouldn’t turn away from you” “Mouse please don’t say that” you begged, tears starting to fall. 

He moved his hand from the back of your neck around to wipe the tears from your face “Baby I wish you could just see how much you truly mean to me. You’re not a fuck up, you’re not broken. You’re human, yes but you are an amazing human who is full of so much love. I trust you with my heart and soul because it’s already been yours, never stopped being yours. There was never a day that I was gone that I didn’t think about you,that you didn’t keep me moving and yes even knowing you were pregnant by Jay. As long as you want me I’m yours, whether as a lover, a friend, a confidant or anything else you may need. I’m yours”

You were fully crying by the time he got through talking “Right now I just really need you to kiss me” you whispered and he smiled “I can do that too” He pulled you into a kiss, his lips gently brushing against yours. You sighed lightly, relaxing against his chest as you pulled him down to deepen the kiss, flicking your tongue across his bottom lip, begging for access.  He let you slip your tongue past his lips and his grip on your hips tightened when you rolled your tongue against his.

He broke away from the kiss, resting his forehead against yours “I love you Y/N Kidd with everything I have and I promise I will love you until the day they put me in the ground. The only way I will walk away from you now is if you told me to then I’m just gonna step to the side and hope you want me again later”

You blinked back tears “I love you too Greg Gerwitz, I’m not sure I deserve you” he shook his head “Baby you’re everything good and one day I’ll get you to believe that” 

“Can we take a walk or something? I’m not ready to be away from you yet” you whispered and he nodded “We can do whatever you want love” you cut your eyes at him, letting your eyes trail down his body “Whatever?” he chuckled “Within reason, you do have to get home to Addy”

You smiled “Why are you so good to me?” “Because you own my heart, woman. I have no other option” he replied, slipping his hand into yours.

You were feeling a lot more human after spending a few hours in Mouse’s arms. Things weren’t fixed but yet again for the millionth time in your life Stella was right, you allowed yourself the luxury of not drowning in guilt and you felt like you could draw a breath easier. That man loved you even when you couldn’t love yourself.

You got up early and redid the braid in Addy’s hair before dressing her for daycare. You were heading out to your jeep when you heard your phone chime. You knew it was a text but your hands were full so you couldn’t check it until you got her buckled in her seat.

She giggled when you leaned in to buckle her. “Oh that’s funny huh?” you laughed, tickling her tummy before kissing her forehead. You went around to the driver seat and climbed in. After you buckled in you clicked the text alert and saw it was from Mouse Just wanted to say good morning to you and little miss. I love you. Have a good day. Be safe

You smiled and texted back Good morning from me and a very giggly little miss. I love you. I’ll call you after work

You sat it in the handsfree holder then turned the ignition on, you had to meet Jay at the daycare then you two were going to get coffee to discuss a schedule of some sort. “Let’s go love” you told Addy before pulling out onto the road.

_________________

You sat across from Jay, sipping your coffee and both of you looking at the calendars on your phone “Fridays make sense with me, I have no urge to go out” you said and he nodded “Ok, so every other night or one with me two with you?” you shrugged “Whichever works best for you. We can start with the one and two then work up to every other once she’s used to it to not change her routine too much and if you need to switch nights or need Stella to watch her that’s always ok”

“What happens on Halloween, thanksgiving, her first christmas or her first birthday?” he asked and you shrugged “We’ll figure it out. Halloween we can do together, same as thanksgiving and possibly christmas and of course her first birthday will be the two of us. Jay we’re her parents, no one else. We promised to do this together. That hasn’t changed, has it?” he shook his head “No, she’s my babygirl. She’s everything to me. For so long you and her have been the center of my attention”

You felt guilt flare to life at the look in his eyes, fuck why did life have to be so complicated? “Jay I do love you, nothing and no one will change that” “Not even Mouse?” he asked and you smiled slightly “Not even Mouse. You gave me the most important thing in the world. We share a little person. There’s someone walking or well not quite walking yet but you get the point…there’s someone who is a perfect mixture of me and you. She will forever know she is loved, that her mommy and daddy have always had each other's backs. We’ve bled for each other, we’ve nearly died with and for each other. That’s a better story than some kids get to tell isn’t it?”

He cracked a small smile “Yeah, it is” you reached across the table to squeeze his hand before saying “Just so you know on Halloween I reserve the right to pick matching outfits for you and Addy and make you wear them” he shook his head “You’re ridiculous” you grinned “And yet you had a baby with me..what does that say about you?” 

@desimarie12

@allisonargent144

@nevaehstreater18

[notawomanimagod]

Today I realised the reason I love Silco so much is because maybe I relate to him in an uncanny way? ( And that I unintentionally have a Silco+Jinx tattoo?)

Some backstory first

I'd gone to college with my childhood best friend/partner and we had a whole plan for our futures and I was a big dreamer. I got us into all the schools/opportunities we wanted to purely by planning a lot. By constantly making sure we had a way out. By keeping us moving. By being the one that put their head down and planned. They had fire initially, which made us bond, but later they sort of showed up and came along for the ride.

Our campus was on the outskirts of a city which coincidentally had a polluted river flowing through it, where dead bodies were found. The water contained so many chemicals, it foamed unnaturally and your skin could feel it.

We would sit on the shores of this river and plan how we'd make it out of here and move to a better place. How we'd break the cycle. How we'd live in a nice house, eat good food and simply live a peaceful life. Away from the violence and chaos of the families we came from.

But things started falling apart, and both of us had vastly different ideologies. We didn't fit like perfect puzzle pieces anymore.

After months of tension, an ongoing fight blew up to the extent they choked me and shoved me down while I clawed at them to get away.

I grew so bitter and felt so betrayed.

This was my best friend. Young, hopeful me considered them my other half in every sense. This was the person I grew up with, we'd gotten each other through so much trauma in our lives and we'd barely survived everything together.

We've both stopped each other from early deaths and yet, there they were, throwing our future away, while I tried my best to acquire it.

I always felt like I didn't resent them for abusing me, I hated them for giving up. On our dream, on our future.

Suddenly I was thrown away.

That dynamic felt eerily similar to Silco/Vander, down to the size difference.

Around that time the only way I knew how to cope was to imagine myself reborn. I became a new person, being betrayed changed me so fundamentally, I had to change.

I viewed everything as pre-incident and after. Pre-betrayal, post-betrayal.

My younger self had no means of understanding why I'd been left behind to rot. While they got a comfortable life. Got to keep our friends. They got the better end of the deal. They got everything.

And I was absolutely alone, isolated. Driven to the point of insanity by everything they'd done to me.

I swore to only trust in myself after that.

I got this tattoo to symbolise my "rebirth" and how to find strength solely in myself.

My younger self had a lot in common with Silco/Jinx and it's a funny coincidence that my tattoo ended up having both their motifs.

Anyways, I didn't understand how much of my own life I saw in Silco's until my brother pointed this out recently. But it helped me process some of the feelings I felt when I began to read more on Silco/Vander's dynamic and why I was drawn to it.

I have always been that dirty little thing, scraping it together and clawing my way out.

No wonder I loved Silco's Rebirth narrative. It truly is the realest arc anyone who experiences trauma/ abuse/betrayal goes through.

And now years later, even though I have a peaceful life, my own apartment, sometimes I get reminded of how I could be hurt and that little part of me that is always on the run comes back in ropes of rage. I need to be in control.I have tried to harden myself and yet, I am still soft. I would often think my caring for others was my biggest weakness, though now I treasure it.

No wonder I love this little rat man. I am what he is. (Down to the black hair and scribbling in journals and leather jackets and cigarettes and being fruity lmfaoo)

No wonder I absolutely love everything about his characterization in season one.